But when you were pure want, maybe you couldn’t tell the difference. Maybe it was all the same thing. If your want was strong enough, there was nothing you wouldn’t do to get it. That thought scared me, because I related to it a little too much.
I’d wanted things too. I’d wanted my mother’s love so badly I was willing to die for it. I wanted magick so badly, I prayed to the goddess every night. And then, of course, there was Bastien. And our child. My want for him and our family was endless.
As much as I wanted to judge Gorrath for being so single-minded, I couldn’t. I understood him. I was him. A part of him was already inside me.
My attention drifted to the place where hishorn had been sliced off. A horn that was in my skirt pocket. A horn that I’d used to make myself come over and over again until I was sweating and writhing on the floor.
“Can you give us a bit of privacy?” Gorrath asked Chastity. “Ensure we won’t be bothered. Would you, love?”
The smile that had been building on her face fell. Her eyes went cold. “Of course. I have other matters that require my attention.” She smoothed her skirts, taking her time as she retreated. “Bigger and better matters.” Before she closed the door, she glanced back at the three of us, eyes narrowing on Gorrath. “Don’t forget our deal, demon.”
He winked. “It’s at the top of my mind.”
“Ensure that it stays there. I know how slippery your mind can be.” The dark witch smiled, then disappeared, the heavy door closing shut behind her.
Once she was gone, Gorrath’s dark eyes twinkled with mischief. “Who’s ready to strike an accord?”
Bastien and I exchanged looks. Tension was thrumming in the room now that the three of us were alone. Gorrath wanted to make a deal, and truthfully, there was very little I wouldn’t agree to at this point. Not because I wanted the demon in any sort of way. But because there wereotherthings I wanted.
I wanted to be free of this collar. I wanted to protect the flicker of life that might be stirring inside me. I wanted to live. I wanted that quiet life with Bastien. And because of the strength of my wants, I knew I needed to step back from these negotiations. I didn’t want to manipulate my husband into making a deal he was uncomfortable with. If we agreed to whatever Gorrath wanted, Bastien needed to want it too.
“What are the terms?” Bastien inquired, unnecessarily straightening his cravat.
Dust and bits of stone rained down as if the ceiling had coughed. Debris landed in my hair and fell down the front ofmy dress. I brushed it away, trying to remove the gritty texture from my skin. When I glanced up, both the demon and Bastien were watching me.
I stilled.
“We use the power inside us to break the spell on Claire’s necklace,” Gorrath explained. His voice had lost some of the gruffness. “I can’t break death magick, but Bastien,” he said, turning toward my husband, “youare the living dead.”
Gorrath slunk forward like a feral tomcat until he was standing directly in front of Bastien. One hand was tucked between the buttons of his jacket. A careless black curl falling into his eyes.
“You are the power for the spell, as someone who has already survived death.” The two men held very still. Gorrath was an arm’s length away from him, but it might as well have been a breath. I knew my husband had done things with Gorrath, things that, if I were being totally honest, I was interested in seeing. “I am the amplifier,” Gorrath continued. “And Claire is the conduit.”
He slapped his hands together, making both Bastien and me jump.“Together, we give her what she needs to break the curse.”
The words hung between us. Neither Bastien nor I had tried to open the connection between us. A deliberate action. On both our parts.
“I’ve never heard of such a spell,” Bastien said. “What does it entail?”
“It’s a union. Your power and mine. Together.” Gorrath cupped Bastien’s cheek. “Put into her.”
I’d known Gorrath was going to suggest something like this, but it didn’t prepare me for the way it sounded out loud. My body suddenly felt too hot. The air too thick. He was suggesting that the three of us cometogether. Just like when he’d opened my power and reestablished the bloodline. But this time, he wouldn’t be an invisible presence. He’d be real. It would be the two of themand me. I tried to imagine what it would be like. The two of them touching me, our bodies moving as one. And as soon as I did, I knew it couldn’t happen.
Bastien shoved the demon’s hand away and raised his blade. “Absolutely not.”
“Once the spell is complete,” Gorrath continued, undeterred, “Claire will be liberated not just from the spell on her choker, but from death itself. She’d be like you.Immortal.”
Immortal. The word pulled at my weary heart. I remembered the first prayer I’d offered to the God of the Underworld, standing alone in my bedchamber, clutching Gorrath’s horn, moments before it started vibrating. “Please, Damien. Make meunbreakable.”
Was this his answer to my prayer?
If I were immortal, then the vision Bastien had about me growing ill from the baby would never happen. I’d be like him, strong and immortal. It was the only thing that would push me toward saying yes. But I had to resist influencing my husband, who still had good steel drawn and pointed directly at Gorrath’s tattooed roses.
“Wouldn’t there be a risk of putting too much power into her body? What about the baby?”
Gorrath smirked. “She’s stronger than you think.”
I tried to ignore how that made me feel, because Gorrath was manipulative.
