Sammie loved him. And, for the first time, she didn’t know if she was strong enough to push him away.
“Attie’s good. You’ve been talking to him, right?” Because why did he need to come here? Why did Kieran need to check in like this? Why did he have to make it harder to stop loving him?
“I have.” The slightest hint of pink colored his cheeks. “I wanted to check on you, too.”
Fuck. Sammie chest ached, rent in two.
She couldn’t stop. Not yet. She wanted to live in the fantasy just a while longer. Awhat ifplaying out in real time, and she was nothing more than a tool for the narrative.
“Come on in.” Sammie held the door open, fighting the urge to close the distance between them and wrap her arms around his middle as Kieran stepped through the door. “I’m almost done here.” She led him through the brewhouse, all the way back to the corner where she’d been working all day. Sammie grabbed the hose once more, spraying out the keg she’d been working on, dumping the water and cleaning chemicals down the drain as Kieran took a seat at her desk.
“How was practice?” A safe topic.
“Eh.” Kieran leaned back, arms crossing over his broad chest. His biceps bulged under the short sleeve of his shirt. Sammie decided to keep her eyes on her work. “Not great. We’re all still shaken up, have been since the game.”
“Think you’ll be ready for this weekend?”
There was a long pause, stretching on until Sammie finally looked up. Kieran’s eyes were on her, his gaze heavy, searing, tugging at the string that tied them together. The one Sammie wasn’t ready to unravel.
“I think we will be,” he finally answered. “I want us to be. It feels like I keep letting them down this season. I can’t let it happen again.”
Maybe he didn’t know it, maybe the realization hadn’t yet occurred to him, but it slammed into Sammie like a brick wall.
Kieran was coming to her for comfort. He was suffering, more than he let on if Sammie’s suspicions were correct, and he’d come toher.
The spark within her flared once again. Sammie set down the keg, giving him her full attention.
“I know Atticus doesn’t think you’ve let them down.” She moved closer. Kieran’s eyes stayed on her, searching her face for answers Sammie didn’t think she had. “None of the guys do.” Something occurred to her for the first time, and she closed the distance between them until she was looking down at him where he still sat on a tiny barstool. “Do they know what all you’ve been dealing with?”
Kieran broke their eye contact, looking away as he sucked in a deep breath. Guilt flickered across his expression. “Your brother knows about the stuff with my dad. Only Coach knows about the stuff with the farm.” He glanced back up at her, words left unsaid in his eyes.And you.
Sammie ignored the way that made the light in her pulse brighter, the knowledge that he’d confided something he hadn’t yet told his friends.
“You should talk to them.” She reached out, squeezing his shoulder. He was always grabbing her hands, keeping her from picking at her nails and hurting herself. Sammie knew, even if he didn’t say it. He cared. Kieran cared so much, just not in a way that matched Sammie’s own feelings. “Let your team support you.”
“I know.” Right on cue, Kieran reached out himself, grabbing her hand before she could pull it away. Sammie let him hold on to her. Let herself believe in the fantasy. His expression turned serious as he searched her face. “Thank you. For being a friend, too.”
Sammie paid no mind to the spear the words shot through her. A hole through her chest, bleeding out, and she did nothing to stanch the flow.
A distraction. Both of them could use a distraction after the events of the last several days. Sammie knew it was a flimsy lie, pointless.
She never had been much for lying.
Distractions though? Hiding from the truth? That she was good at.
“It’s a shame,” she said, chuckling softly, hoping it hid every sincere emotion that was coursing through her. She waved a hand at their surroundings. “This place would make for an interesting backdrop in a video.”
It did the trick. Kieran smiled, small and surprised, a laugh huffing out of him.
“Terrible idea.” He looked better already. Sammie liked that she could make him laugh, get him out of his head, even if it didn’t last.
“I know that.” She smirked as she rolled her eyes. “But I can come over tonight. If you want to record something.”
Such a fucking glutton for punishment.
Kieran’s gaze turned dark, a low heat simmering in his eyes even as he shook his head. “I’m supposed to FaceTime my parents when I get home. You know how mom likes to talk, could take a while.”
That was fine. Sammie didn’t reallywantto record a video tonight. She didn’t want the camera on them, because that would make it harder to pretend any of this was real.
