Ivy: dude what the actual fuck
Ivy: i started banana fish
Ivy: do you hate happiness?
Sammie: I warned you
Ivy: we need to make plans to watch something less emotionally destructive, you owe me now
Sammie: Yeah
Sammie: Let’s meet up soon
~
Maria: Hiiiiiii <3 thanks for reaching out, Sammie! Luz told me all about you! If you need ANYTHING, don’t hesitate to reach out! She also told me you might be looking for someone else to work with. I only do solo work, but I’ve got a friend that collaborates, I can introduce the two of you if you’d like. Why don’t you facetime me tomorrow evening and we can chat?
Maria: And here’s a creator you might want to follow, they post a lot of tips for the biz, as well as advice on things like maintaining your mental health, setting boundaries, a lot of the stuff I didn’t think about when I was first starting!
Maria:Link
6 YEARS AGO
SAMMIE FOUND HER brother on the swings.
The park was empty, despite the bright, sunny day. The neighborhood kids would still be in school, with summer still just around the corner.
“You okay?” Sammie settled into the swing next to Atticus, kicking off the mulch to rock herself back and forth, falling into a slow, easy motion.
Atticus sniffed. “I’ll be fine.” His eyes were red, glued to the ground beneath him. White knuckles gripped the chains at his sides.
“I’m sorry, Attie.” Even though it wasn’t her fault. Even though they’d both seen it coming.
Atticus had pulled her aside, not even a half hour after he’d arrived back home. He was done with his classes for the semester, and had news that he’d wanted to share with Sammie before anyone else.
Atticus wouldn’t be going back to school in the fall. He’d received an offer from a team, the Chicago Wildcats, and he was going to take it. His last two years playing volleyball at the college level had shown that he was a rare talent, and he didn’t want to let this opportunity pass him by.
He also wanted to come out publicly. Not in some big showy way. Nobody cared about some bisexual volleyball rookie. But it was important to Atticus that he didn’t have to hide that part of himself from the public eye.
He’d told Sammie as much, and even though she knewshewould support him no matter what, the announcement had settled like rocks in her gut. Because if Atticus wasn’t going to hide himself from the world, he wouldn’t be hiding himself fromanybody.
“She loves you.” Sammie was close to tears herself.
Atticus sniffed harder, swiping at his eyes. “I know. Still sucks.”
Greta hadn’t taken his announcement well. Maybe it was because Atticus lacked grace or subtlety, proudly announcing his sexuality without preamble. Their granny had gone silent. Cold. And Sammie couldn’t help but wonder if that was worse. Worse than raging anger or distraught anguish.
The quiet, judging resentment, the knowledge that Greta loved themdespitewho they were… that part stung. Almost as much as her simple dismissal, closing herself into her room, leaving the two of them with a quiet, “Don’t bring any ofthatinto my home.”
Sammie reached out, grabbing her twin’s hand and tangling their fingers together, squeezing with everything she had as tears finally pushed past her lashes.
“I have agirlfriendnow.” Atticus let out a burbling, thick laugh. And it was true. He’d been seeing the same woman for a couple months. Sammie didn’t think it would last—none of her brother’s relationships went on for very long—but still, it’s not like he was dating a guy. Even so, Greta hadn’t cared. He was sullied in her eyes now, something tainted, broken. He had strayed from the correct path, and as far as their granny was concerned, he wouldn’t find his way back unless he closed off a part of himself.
Sammie was so proud of him.
“Maybe she just needs time.” She whispered the words, as if saying them too loud would tempt fate.
“Thanks, Sammie. For being there.” Atticus squeezed her hand back. They’d stopped swinging to sit motionless. The sun was a warm balm against Sammie’s skin. Atticus tugged her hand, pulling her gaze up to his face. “Whenever—ifever—you want to do the same, I’ll be there.”
