It wouldn’t be so bad, if he decided to come back home. Helping out his dad, eventually taking over. The idea whirl-pooled in his mind as Kieran slipped into his old bedroom. His mother hadn’t changed a thing since he’d moved out at nineteen, after signing with the Seattle Sharks. The fantasy books he’d adored as a kid, still crammed into the small bookshelf by his desk. His reading tastes had changed since then, but his old, dog-eared copy ofLioness Rampantstill sat in a place of honor on his old desk. Kieran picked the book up, skimming through the ending. It had been the first series he’d read with any sort of romance, one born of friendship.
Kieran’s high school jersey was framed on the wall above his desk, the number eight set against an eye-searing shade of yellow. The same number he still wore on his maroon and gold Chicago Wildcats jersey.
Seeing that old jersey only served as a reminder of the dreams Kieran had held onto so tight, the ones that had come true right out of high school. Getting to play the sport he loved for a living. Sure, it wasn’t the NFL, something Meredith loved to remind him of. Kieran wasn’t signing a multi-million dollar contract. But he’d made it on his own for years now, doing exactly the thing he’d always hoped he would get to do.
Kieran tossed away the covers as he sank down onto his too-small twin bed. The house was old and the air conditioning unit struggled to keep up with the sweltering mid-summer heat. It didn’t help that the questions rotating in Kieran’s mind were enough to make him break out in a cold sweat. He pulled out his phone, desperate for a distraction.
It had been almost a week since his last post, and his subscribers didn’t like to be kept waiting. Kieran glanced around. It felt wrong, making any sort of video in his childhood bedroom. But there was a thrill in that, one that set off a low burn in his gut. He pulled up the comments on the last thing he’d posted, a set of pictures.
The lighting was always low, and Kieran kept it that way on purpose. Shadows to hide in, nothing in frame that would give away his identity. Not because he was ashamed, but more because he didn’t think the National Volleyball Association board nor the management team for the Cats would be happy to know that one of their best players was making adult content on the side.
The pictures had been well received. Kieran had been naked when he’d taken them, but the ones he’d posted had been relatively tame. Nothing truly explicit, just a tease. His chest and abdomen on display, shadows playing over the muscles there. One arm flexed, the hand he’d wrapped around his dickjustout of frame. Teeth sinking into his bottom lip, almost hidden by the ball cap he kept pulled low over his face. The fan favorite of thebunch was a moment he’d caught right before his orgasm had ripped through him, mouth parted on a sharp exhale, his core clenched tight as he curled over his hand.
No, his parents didn’t need to know about his side hustle. They didn’t need to know that he was making enough money from sex work that he’d abandoned any worries about what he might do once volleyball wasn’t any option anymore.
Kieran opened up the comments under that last post. A few stood out from the rest. He’d been seeing more and more like them lately.
Loving the solo content, but when will you collab again?
It had been over a year since Kieran had last worked with anyone. His ex, the sister of one of his Sharks teammates, had been the one to get him into making adult content. Their relationship had fizzled out once Kieran had admitted that the feelings she’d hoped for from him just weren’t there. It had been amicable, and they had even done a few more videos together after the breakup.
We can stay friends, right?
The physical distance between them had become too much of a hassle, neither of them having enough time to fly back and forth from Chicago to Seattle. So Kieran had settled into doing solo content.
But a lot of followers had stayed with him, had been there from the beginning, and they were the ones who seemed to be spreading the desire to see him paired up with someone again.
The idea wasn’t unappealing. Kieran had liked having someone to make content with. It took some of the pressure off of him, and it was always fun to have a partner to bounce ideas off of. But he hadn’t found anyone nearby that he felt comfortable working with. Until then, his followers would have to be happy with what he was able to give them alone.
Kieran pulled up the camera on his phone, propping it up on his old nightstand so that his bed was in frame. He snatched his trademark black ball cap from the pocket of his duffle, pulling it low over his eyes so that his face would remain mostly hidden by shadows. He flicked off the lights, only the soft glow of the nightlight in the corner lending enough illumination that he could still be seen on camera.
It wasn’t like the more professional setup he had in his apartment, but it would do for tonight. Besides, Kieran wasn’t planning anything too crazy. Not with his parents right downstairs.
Kieran sank onto the edge of the bed, tugging his shirt off but leaving his jeans on. The waistband of his briefs peaked just above them. Making sure he was in frame, Kieran pressed record before sucking in a deep breath. His nerves still lit up every time the camera was on him, even after three years. A good sort of nervousness, one that tickled through his limbs. A building anticipation, and excitement that only came from doing something he knew would bring a special kind of delight to others.
His hand moved over the bulge forming under his jeans. Kieran let air fill his lungs, his chest rising, falling, again and again as he slowly rubbed himself over his pants. His eyes fell closed as his head hung forward. It felt good, the slight friction against his dick, the light pressure of his palm. He thought back to the comments asking when he would record with a partner again.
Kieran popped the button of his jeans open as he let himself imagine that the hand sliding past the waistband of his briefs belonged to someone else. Someone else’s strong fingers replacing his own, wrapping around him, tugging him out of his jeans. He was fully hard, but the room was too dark for his cock to be seen by the camera. Even still, as Kieran moved his hand,he knew the scene being captured was obscene. A shiver ghosted over his hot skin, a breathy moan breaking past his lips.
That would be where he would cut it, giving his followers just a glimpse, leaving them begging for the rest.
The camera kept rolling as he finished, as his hips bucked and he spurted into his palm, trying to keep from making a mess. Kieran cleaned himself up, tugging off his jeans and falling back into the bed. He would edit the video to post before he went to sleep.
The fantasy had been good, that idea of having someone else in his lap, someone else teasing him all the way to the edge. But it was just another thing to add to the long list of problems Kieran didn’t have solutions for.
His parents begging him to take the farm, to quit volleyball and put their family first.
His team, relying on him to take the lead, to be there at every practice and every game.
The contract sitting on his kitchen counter, waiting for a signature.
And now he was considering bringing another person into the mix? Someone he would have to learn, someone that might end up wanting more from him than he was capable of giving?
He raked a hand through his hair with a sigh. So many questions, so many waiting decisions.
And Kieran had yet to find a single answer.
Sammie was close to the end of the book. She’d been curled up in bed reading for an hour, all thoughts of work and the stress that came with it pushed to the background for the time being. Only three more chapters and she would be past the part of the series that most people considered to be a slog. She was quite enjoying it, though, and was rather annoyed when her phone buzzed with several notifications in quick succession.
