He winks and takes my hand, drawing me close as we open the door and march proudly up the stairs.
As we pass the landing, Kieran calls for two plates to be brought to his rooms and for the fire to be stoked. The wide-eyed maid curtsies, doing her best to hide a smirk. And still, I can’t find it in me to care.
Kieran is mine once more—and the kingdom will simply have to accept it.
38
Kieran
Gen leans against me, the blanket I gave her barely covering the swell of her breasts. She picks up a piece of bread, dips it into the soup on the tray between us, and reaches up to feed it to me with a tenderness that makes refusal impossible. Even if being fed like this feels strange, I’ll give her anything she wants if it means she remains mine.
Earlier in the parlor had been a dream—something I longed for nine years ago. That her rejection of me had been false. That she would search for me, admit she’d made a mistake. But that never happened, and I had to claw my way out of hell to build my own path.
A path that led straight back to what got me in trouble in the first place.
I don’t regret what happened today. I don’t regret my words. I’d let the world burn to the ground before I let someone separate us again. But the old fear still nags: will Gen truly choose me when we return to Crawford? Will she stand up to her mother and declare she loves me?
She smooths a hand across the stubble on my cheek, her warm fingers an addiction I can’t shake. “What’s on your mind?” she asks, tilting her cheek against my shoulder.
“Just happy to be with you now, Gen.”
A lie, but I won’t break this delicate thing between us. Not yet. Not when it feels so fragile and temporary, even wrapped in the promise of tonight.
She tips her face up to mine, brows furrowed. “That is not the look of a happy man.” Her fingertip traces the line between my brows. “I’ve seen you happy. This is your brooding face.”
“Brooding?” I scoff. “I’m not broody.”
“Oh yes you are—or at least worried. Kieran, are you aworriernow?” She tries to tease, but her words come out flat.
I lean my head back against the pillows. “We need to talk about what you’re going to do about your mother.”
She looks puzzled. “What I’m going to do about her? Because she lied to both of us? She ruined us, but I don’t know what I can do other than confront her and tell her that it made little difference in the end.”
The words sting. Her mother’s lies made all the difference. They destroyed my life. My father’s life. And for years, I blamed Gen for it.
“Her lies are the reason my father died in the mines. She’s the reason I fought like hell to rise from the ashes of this place. But all these years, I blamed you. I hated you and loved you all at once because she deceived us.”
Gen shifts away, lifting her blanket over her exposed skin like protective armor. “She’s hurt us both, and I don’t think I can ever forgive her, but my mother is the queen. Her word is law, and she faces no repercussions for her actions. You know I’ve lived under her decisions my whole life. It’s easiest to just…” She pauses, hurt flickering in her eyes. “It’s easier to ignore it when she does things like this. Weonly have to live that way for two more years, Kieran. Then I’ll be queen. She can’t stop our marriage—especially now that you’re a blueblood.”
I shake my head, unable to believe what she’s saying. “I don’t want her to know I’m a blueblood. It’s not something I share, and the last person I need knowing is your mother.”
Gen looks at me—ready to argue, it seems—before her expression softens. “You hate her, and rightfully so. But she’s still the queen, and shecanstop me from marrying you. She’s done it before, and I can only imagine what she’s planning when we return together. She’ll be apoplectic with rage over my broken engagement—and over running away with you.”
I want to deny her, to make her see I will not, under any circumstances, submit to the queen’s orders, demands, or lies. But I know choosing Gen means choosing her life—choosing the reality that the crown willalwaysbe at the forefront of her mind.
“The theatrics of choosing a blueblood husband are too great, aren’t they?” I ask gently. In the end, this isn’t about me or her; it’s about appeasing a system I plan to dismantle. I’ve done it with the helachite industry—what’s the difference, if admitting my blue blood means I can have Gen? I’ll destroy the divide in this country once and for all, from the top down.
Her gaze warms. “I hate doing this to you. You’re so much more than the blood in your veins. But it’s not only my mother who would make our marriage difficult.”
We’ve been here before—made love, fought, lost everything. I cannot, will not, let that happen again. The sigh that escapes me feels like defeat. But is it defeat, if it means making Gen mine?
“I’ll do it, Princess. But not for anyone except you. I don’t give a fuck what the rest of the kingdomthinks of me. It’syouI want. If that means living with that viper of a queen for two years, if it means spilling my blood in front of some paunchy council member, then so be it.”
She reaches for me, pulling me into her arms, her bare breasts pressed to my chest.
“I’m sorry it has to be this way,” she whispers into my skin, her arms tightening around my torso. “My mother—she’s hurt both of us, but she’s the reason you suffered for so many years. We can get through the next two years of her reign, then you’ll never have to see her again. I promise you.”
I nod, my voice caught in my throat as I think about all the years of hurt I blamed on Gen. Foolish, to imagine she would ever want me cast out like that, even after she rejected my proposal. But my pride was wounded. My stubborn pride got the better of me when I believed she had penned the note that cleaved me from her.
