I can’t keep his true identity from Astoria, not with Gabe already knowing who he is. I lean in close, lowering my voice so no one can overhear. “HeisKieran Greenbluff. He admitted his identity to Gabe today.”
To her credit, Astoria keeps her face neutral as she scans the room. “And has it changed how you feel about your marriage to Prince Leland?”
“It has complicated matters. I feel confused, especially since I see Prince Leland as more of a friend than a lover.”
It’s an honor to be given Leland’s mother’s ring, but I think back to how I pulled away from his touch. The cold, distant feeling I already have toward my fiancé makes my chest ache. This isn’t what I wanted. I never thought I would have a loveless marriage, but that’s what I’m forcing on both of us. That’s what my curse will punish me with.
“Prince Leland and I got to know one another better, and I introduced him to Clemmy. Of course, he loved her immediately. But I feel as though I’m pursuing this arrangement for our kingdoms only.”
I look past Astoria, and Kieran winks at me from across the room. The brazen lack of propriety from that man makes me want to march over and hit him with my shoe again. He’s purposefullydrawingattention to us, and I fear it will ruin everything I’ve worked for to secure this alliance.
Doesn’t he understand we’re being watched? I’m being watched. Even as the thought crosses my mind, I see the subtle twitch of Mother’s eye and turn to see Queen Kalise looking at Kieran.
“Genny, are you alright?” Astoria asks, her voice barely a whisper.
I force my attention back to her, trying to ignore everyone else in the room as I count down the minutes until I can politely excuse myself from the parlor. “I’m fine. It’s just that Kieran keeps looking at me. It’s unnerving.”
“How do you think he managed to injure himself in Fairbright? Please tell me it was your doing.” The swelling in his cheek has reached his eye, and a deep shade of purple is already setting in.
“He deserved it—but it was Gabriel. He knocked him flat on his back.”
“Did he give you an explanation for why he left?”
I shake my head. “No, and I don’t think he plans to. He’s insinuated that it’s my fault. But it doesn’t matter. I need to do my duty to the crown. Prince Leland is here, and I need to concentrate on feelingsomethingfor him.”
I purse my lips and look at the clock on the mantle. It reads eight forty-five. That seems like a perfectly acceptable time to make my exit. “I need to lie down. It’s been a long day.” I stand and approach Mother, feeling Astoria close behind me. Maybe she’s just as desperate as I am to leave tonight.
“Your Majesty,” I say, dipping low. “May I be excused? I find myself quite fatigued.”
Mother studies me, and I see some sympathy in her brown eyes. She looks worn down and almost envious as she gives me a brief nod. “Getsome good rest, dear. Astoria, you’re excused too. Good night,” she replies, before turning back to the councilor she invited to our parlor.
I turn and wonder what else my mother is keeping from me. Is she even now sharing information with a councilor that I have a right to know?
Astoria walks beside me as we make our way into the hall. “Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we weren’t part of the royal family?” she whispers.
“Of course. For one thing, I wouldn’t be asking my mother’s permission to leave a room at twenty-eight. Being royalty means shrinking yourself to fit the expectations of an entire kingdom.”
She nods. “Anyone in Mother’s presence must ask permission to leave. Royalty or not.”
I think about how that permission will be for me soon. I will be the one who carries the burden of releasing everyone from a room—all because some former monarch decided they wanted absolute control over everyone’s comings and goings. I don’t want that burden. Perhaps I’ll do away with such a silly custom.
“Honestly,” Astoria says in a voice so low I almost don’t hear her. We stop at my door, and I can hear the rustling of my lady’s maid in my apartment. “If I weren’t royalty, I think I’d be much happier.”
“It’s easy to say that, but you are the wonderful woman you are in part because you’re Princess Astoria Ashcroft.”
She looks at me contemplatively, her brow slightly furrowed. “I’m twenty-five. I’ve been able to donothingon my own merit, and I feel exhausted by it. The crown constricts me from being who I want to be. I understand how you can’t imagine separating yourself from the crown—you’ll bear that weight one day—but for me? The third child in five, I just wish to shed its burden from my life. Yet I know I’ll never be permitted that right.”
I do the only thing I can for my sister: I pull her close and hug her. Astoria is deeply private and only reveals small details to me. There’s something else she isn’t telling me, but from the tired circles under her eyes and strained look on her face, I know this isn’t the time to press her further.
“Would you like to come in?” I ask, knowing full well that I need to meet Kieran.
She shakes her head. “No, a hot bath should cure my melancholy.”
“I love you, Astoria.” The words come so naturally when I say them to her.
“I love you too, Genny. Good night.” She pads down the hall before stopping at her door.
I open mine and come face-to-face with Kieran. He’s made himself at home on my settee, looking obnoxiously proud of himself.
