Darby nodded.
“I’ll let Garnel and Raikin know I’d like one of these fae brought to the King’s Residence. I’d like to understand how a young fae can become so depleted.”
“While I’m searching for the source of Jasper’s magic, I’ll see if there are any clues to these fae. May the Goddess bless their poor souls. Could you imagine being drained of your essence in such a way?” She shook her head, a sincere look of worry on her face.
“Thank you for all your help, Darby,” Savine said as he stood and showed her to the door.
He sat in his chair, looking out over the city and yearned for Avery’s company. The burden of the crown was heavy, its cold, gilded metal an ever-present reminder of his duty.
Morgan
Morgan’s shadows danced around her, wrapping her in a cocoon of dark comfort. She’d lost all sense of time as she sat in the darkness, letting the encompassing silence draw all her previous fears out of her until she felt like she was being eaten alive by the terror within her.
Her mind kept spiraling to the horrible darkness of the mine shaft, to the fear she’d felt as that fae loomed over her, a look of angry hunger etched in his features. The memories left hersoaked in a cold sweat, gasping for breath as shadows squirmed across her skin. She couldn’t get them to stop, couldn’t control how they seemed to suck all the oxygen from the room and left her struggling for some semblance of security in the deafening darkness. Even hearing other prisoners would have been better than the sensory deprivation she was experiencing.
When she wasn’t trying to claw her mind out of that mine shaft, she kept thinking of what Selene had forced her to relive. She’d always tried to meet her high expectations she’d placed on herself. She’d always been convinced that if she wasn’t perfect in everything she did then she wasn’t worthy. Her parents never overtly said this to her. It was more in the way she was always praised as a child for her good grades, for her quieter demeanor compared to Avery’s loud and rambunctious attitude. That praise had felt good and it had made her seek it more and more. Eventually, she’d convinced herself that being the sister with the perfect grades and the plans was who she was.
She could remember the first time she began hiding her slip ups from her family. She’d been a teenager and had an algebra test that she’d spent hours studying for. She’d studied so long that she didn’t get enough sleep, and when it came time for her exam she couldn’t concentrate, her eyes closing as she tried to think through the equations. So she looked at her classmate’s test while her teacher did something on her computer, distracted from the seemingly quiet test takers. She was seated next to the smartest boy in their grade. They usually worked together to quickly find the answers to their daily classwork and she knew he would be a reliable person to cheat off of. She ran the calculation herself to check the answer, but it was correct and she spent the rest of the test checking her own answers against those of her classmate’s. They both received a perfect score and the teacher hadn’t noticed.
Then in college she’d found relief from the growing pressure she placed on herself in the bodies of strangers. It gave her a sense of power to have these fleeting sexual experiences without needing to be the perfect girlfriend or worry about making time for a relationship in her busy schedule. She’d never told Avery, only sending her location to a close friend. She was safe, always prepared with a condom and an IUD and she got tested regularly. Avery had always assumed Morgan was too busy to want a relationship, and while that was true, Morgan also liked the thrill of being with a stranger and knew her sister wouldn’t understand.
There were more. Many instances of a crack in her perfect facade. Of the ways she’d let herself slide from perfection when nobody else knew. That was why she’d begun practicing yoga. She thought if she could just get control of her mind’s desire to stray from perfection then she’d become her best self. Meditation retreats, daily yoga, none of it had relieved her of the need to keep herself in a tight, orderly box, only to let herself do something quietly reckless when the pressure became too much. The attack at Quartz Mountain had splintered that box, and she didn’t know how to gain control again.
The darkness consumed her as she tried to let her mind be blissfully free of thoughts. She stretched herself out on the stone floor, the shadows licking against her cool skin. Selene said she had ambition and cunning. She looked into her soul, released the kernel of darkness inside her that she’d tried to bury so deeply.
Her shadows curled around her, and she willed herself to control their writhing movements. As she tugged at them, they bucked and expanded, making the room feel even more dark and more claustrophobic. Her vision was filled with the bear, pressing down on her before he wrapped his jaws around her head, and it was like he was in the room with her. She could feelthe heat of his breath and the prickle of anticipation that came from knowing his maw would be on her next.
Morgan screamed as the shadows roiled and burst from her, tearing at her skin while her mind slipped back into the jaws of the beast that had caused her so much terror. The shadows were whirling around her, and she thought she’d be choked on their grip—a grip so reminiscent of the one that once surrounded her skull.
She gasped for breath and let out a fearful cry, but nobody came to help her. She was lost, alone in this darkness that would surely suffocate her.
The only thing that could save her from this heavy darkness was herself. She was the source of these smothering shadows, and nobody was going to help her escape that part of herself. As Selene had suggested, they were a part of her, and she wasn’t about to let her own magic destroy her.
Morgan took a series of deep breaths, letting her mind travel to a place of serenity. A place she often let her mind wander to while meditating. She opened her senses to a place with cool, streaming water as she let her racing heartbeat relax. The shadows loosened around her and she sat up, crossing her legs. With eyes still closed, she envisioned a fern-covered forest with a creek flowing through carved stones. The shadows swayed with her steady breathing as she visualized them becoming a part of her, a part of her that wouldneverharm her. The heaviness like a dark mist in the room began pulling back, slowly sinking into her. Her arms lifted and her body began floating in a sea of shadows. The sensation was soft, delicate. The shadows didn’t fight her or suffocate her. Instead, they responded to her mind’s grasp on them. Gently, she went back to the ground, her magic pulling into her as she continued to visualize that peaceful location.
For the first time since she entered this cell, her shadows weren’t writhing and blustering around her. Morgan controlled them. They were a part of her, just as her arm was a part of her, and she’d never let them overpower her again.
Chapter 14
Avery
Edet tutted as she tried to comb out Avery’s unruly waves. The woman’s sandpaper rough hands worked their way through Avery’s hair before she set the comb down with a sigh. Avery studied her roughened, reddish features in the mirror. She still didn’t know what kind of a fae Edet was, and thought better of asking her. She clearly had some sort of rock essence. Sandstone if Avery had to guess, since she so closely resembled that type of rock. Avery sighed, but didn’t say anything as Edet returned to prodding at her wind-tousled hair.
Her sister was locked in the Tower of Teeth, and Rylo had refused to see her for the last two days. Anxiety had spurredAvery’s body until she couldn’t sit still any longer. After one day of letting herself sink back into guilt and despair, she forced herself to get outside with her friends. Susan, Kyla, and Rue were all up for training and they’d set up a good system for her to bury her concerns for Morgan in physical activity. This morning they hiked the craggy mountains of Nephel. She needed to explore the rocky canyon and the high alpine peaks miles from the Towers. To get away from this place and just be free in the wilderness. Her body craved the wild, rugged areas away from the opulence of Rylo’s court. Only that could calm the increasing worry she had for Morgan.
To her surprise, Rylo had approved of her outings, even though he’d refused to meet with her. The only caveat was that Selene joined. Avery didn’t even know how the Sage of Nephel had time to go stomping through rocky outcroppings with them, but it seemed to be made into a priority. To nobody’s surprise, Selene refused to walk on the dusty trails and the dying grasses that dotted the mountains. Instead, she flew above the women, just near enough to intervene if they tried something that Rylo deemed unacceptable, which seemed limited to running away and hurting a Nepheli. Neither were something that Avery planned to do anyway.
Only hours after she got back from her hike, Edet had arrived. Apparently Rylo was willing to meet with her, but only at a formal supper. As she dressed for her first mandatory meal with Rylo since the Latians left, she wondered what Savine was doing at that moment. She’d been so scared for Morgan’s safety that Savine’s own well being wasn’t holding its place in the forefront of her mind. She wondered if she could send some sort of communication down their bond from this distance. Why couldn’t she? She could still feel that connection, even if it was faint. Mentally, she grabbed onto that bond and caressed it, feeling slightly foolish.
“What’s got you looking so star-eyed, girl?” Edet asked.
Avery flinched at Edet’s voice. “Oh, nothing.”
“Looks to me like something. You’d be missing your soulmate, I’m sure. And not even accepting the bond yet.” Edet tutted again as she shook her head. “No wonder you humans are all but eliminated here. Not much sense in your heads.”
Avery didn’t respond as Edet began piling her long blonde hair into some sort of up do. “Only death could separate me from my soulmate,” Edet said as she shook her head again and continued wrestling Avery’s hair into submission. “And even then I should have joined him. Should have never… Oh what matter is all that? I mean to say, don’t be a fool about your soulmate again, girl.” Edet turned Avery so she was looking up at the woman, her scratchy hand on Avery’s chin. “Cherish what Althea gave you. Don’t waste it away, not even on family.”
Edet released her chin and Avery turned to face the mirror again. At that moment, she felt a soft caress through the bond and a warmth filled her inside and out. It was so reminiscent of that early warmth she felt when she and Savine touched for the first time, and the sensation left her with such a longing that she had to remember to breathe. She gave the bond another squeeze and mentally stroked it in return. So she could still communicate with Savine on some level from this distance. She let herself relax, thinking of good days to come, and sent all the joy and hope she could muster down their bond.
