But the thought of putting her in danger made bile rise into his throat. No. He’d have to find another way. Not now. She was far too precious to him to risk her life in this way.
“We’ll find another way. We have to. What if that vow you made has indirectly made you a subject of Latiah through your oath to me? I couldn’t live with myself if I caused even a hair on your head to be injured. Not now. Not now that I know you’re my… that you’re my friend.”
Avery’s eyes squinted, and her head cocked slightly. He already was keeping another secret from her. But Goddess forgive him, he couldn’t tell her about that bond. Not yet. He was pouring out too much of himself, and he still didn’t think he could deserve this woman as his soulmate.
“And that’s what we are? Friends?” Avery’s eyebrow raised. She leaned in, her breath wispy on his bare neck. “That’s why you stopped kissing me? What about how you need me like you need air in your lungs? You want to spend your days exploring my body?” She paused, pulling away and standing up, but he was too exhausted to stop her. “Are you claiming that’s how you feel about your friends? Like fuck, Savine. I don’t think you know what you want.”
Savine kneeled in the sand, looking up at Avery. He should have let her keep pulling away, but the connection to her was like life itself, and he couldn’t let her go, not even if he wanted to. He grabbed her hands and pulled her back to him, burying his head in her chest. The feel and scent of her intoxicated him.
“Goddess help me, Avery. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything. But not now. Not when Jasper would use you against me, and fuck knows what else he’d do if he knew how I feel about you. I have to get rid of him. Without using you to do it. I need to do thatfirst before I can be anything more than friends with you. It’s not what I want, and I don’t know how I’ll resist you.”
Avery reached down and tipped his head up to look into her glistening eyes. The emotions of this whole evening shone on her face. But she was still there. She wasn’t leaving him. How could he deserve such a woman?
“Okay. No more pushing me away, though. No more secrets. I get it. You’ve got a hell of a lot of things to figure out other than if you want to fuck me or love me, or whatever this could become. You’re probably betrothed to some beautiful princess anyway,” Avery said before she planted a kiss on his forehead.
Savine let his face sink back into her chest. He kneeled in supplication before this woman. “Goddess alive, how could you believe I could ever be with anyone else when I know you are the only one who could fill my tattered soul?”
Avery lifted one eyebrow and smiled at him. “You can’t go around saying things like that if we’re going to keep this platonic, okay?”
Chapter thirty-six
Avery
The forest Avery found herself in was like no other forest that she’d ever seen. Cedars wider than the length of a truck grew piled tightly together. Interwoven throughout the cedars were hemlocks that Avery thought she could carve out and build a house in. Spruce and tamaracks that were growing to unnatural sizes. All her forestry education came back to her. The size of these trees was unheard of. She wanted to stop and get a better idea of how all these trees were growing to such massive sizes so tightly. But now was not the time for a forestry field trip.
Savine gave orders long before they left the prairie bordering Dorfaren Lake that the army was to ride in silence. He wouldn’t speak to her, even with his warm breath tickling the curve of her ear and the pulsing ache where his arm wrapped around her waist. All these hours of riding close to Savine without speaking left Avery’s head spinning over the events at the lake.
Hot damn! That kiss between them had been electrifying. She felt crazy thinking this, but it felt like she and Savine were connected on some sort of deeper level. Like she was connected to his need and his desire for her in the very depths of her being. It was the best first kiss she’d experienced. Until he’d turned so icy cold and pulled away. Even so, she sensed he couldn’t get enough of her either. That was obviouswhen he had her nipple in his mouth, even as he pulled himself away and tried to resist his need to kiss her.
What came next still left her reeling. She knew he hada lotof baggage. Hell, how couldn’t he, with what she already knew of his father and his imprisonment? But to hear that his father and the king were the same? That Savine was the heir to the Latian throne? She was stunned, and honestly, pretty damn mad. This entire community, everyone she’d met and talked to, had kept that secret from her. There were plenty of clues that indicated that he wasn’t being honest with who he was, but she’d missed them all. Obviously, she was an idiot to not ask more questions. Savine was in open rebellion against the king, and if she’d asked more questions about his ties to the king, she would have figured this out earlier. If she looked past her anger, she understoodwhySavine chose to not acknowledge Jasper as his father. Clearly, the father-son ties had been severed long ago.
But this whole idea that he wanted to use her as an assassin? If he’d told her from the get go, she’d have laughed in his face. How did he look at her all those weeks ago and think to himself, “Yeah, she looks like the sort of person who could kill a tyrant?”
Everything changed after hearing his story and knowing all that his father inflicted on him. Most devastating of all, the loss of the only woman who loved him. Then, to find out Lilith’s mind was manipulated into loving him. All the pain he’d suffered knowing that his lover died because of him, only to find out it was all a manipulation. How could he not be devastated?
Avery had this burning need to destroy Jasper. She didn’t know where it came from, but the thought of someone harming Savine filled her with such vitriol that she was sure she could take the bastard out. After months, maybe years of training, of course.
As Avery was lost in her thoughts, Savine slid his hand tighter across her stomach, pulling her in close. His entire body tensed as he drew her back, protectively holding her close.
Avery looked through the thick branches of the forest, looking for any sign of danger, but all she could see were trees. The forest was so thick that Jari narrowly squeezed his way through the pathways between massive trunks and wayward branches. Elk and riders crossed the forest in every direction possible, some cutting through paths that abruptly ended and forced them to turn around looking for an alternative path. Despite the challenging path, the warriors made their way through the woods like ghosts in the wind. Avery suspected if the enemy was near, they’d have no clue what was coming for them. Not with these silent, determined warriors stalking the woods for their enemy.
Abruptly, Savine pulled the reins back on Jari, stopping in front of a cedar that looked like the width of a small cottage. “What’s going on?” Avery whispered.
Savine brought his finger to his lips, giving her a silent command to not speak. His face was a hard plane, all scowl and seriousness as he dismounted Jari. He reached for Avery, lowering her to the ground. The grip of his hand on her waist was pure possession. All day, Savine made sure they were touching in some way, like Avery could slip into the wind if he let his anchoring touch leave her. It was such a sudden change from the way he used to cringe at her touch, but she welcomed it. It was an honor, really. For him to trust her enough to be comfortable touching her, especially now that she had a better perspective on how much pain physical touch and emotional connection had brought him in the past. No wonder he thought he was unlovable.
Savine led her over to the ancient cedar tree. This tree could easily be thousands of years old, possibly even older than any trees on Earth.Avery listened as Savine spoke to the tree in hushed, barely audible tones. She couldn’t understand a word he said, but the cadence in his speech was mesmerizing, and she leaned in closer to feel the rhythm of his words.
When Savine walked away from the tree, his typically copper skin was ashen. His essence was strangely still, and the look in his eyes sent fear piercing into Avery’s heart. “What did the tree say?” Avery’s voice was hardly audible, but Savine leaned in close to whisper in her ear, the touch of his breath sending a chill down her spine.
“They’re near. They’re encamped in the next valley, where they’ve decimated all the trees,” Savine said.
Avery’s stomach did a flip, and she instinctively touched the ax at her side. It was made of pure iron, because Savine said he’d take no risk in arming her with anything but iron. She understood one gash from this ax would destroy a fae. It was such a rare and lethal metal in Aeritis that only a few rebels were armed with iron.
Savine kept his hand interlaced in hers as he walked over to his council, who waited near Jari. No one spoke as they looked at Savine, the seriousness of the situation etched on his face. The council formed a closely knit circle, ready to hear their commander’s orders.
He leaned forward as he whispered to Garnel about the plan. “Their numbers are huge. It seems the entire army is camped in the valley over the ridge. We will be on them by nightfall. Garnel, you lead the charge. Kyla, you will use your empath abilities to bring terror down on the loyalists like they’ve never imagined. I want Raikin to infiltrate the encampment. Jay will take the left flank with his own band of warriors and Gaelyn will lead the other side. I will try to restore any trees I can in the rear with Avery. Then we will join Garnel and Kyla in the center of the fighting to make it clear that Avery is here and we will not stand for them lingering on this side of the pass. If Jasperis on the battlefield, do not touch him. We are not ready for that fight yet. We push them back and don’t stop until we force them over the pass.”
It was one of those moments where the council didn’t dare question Savine. They may tease and prod at him mercilessly, but they all seemed to understand when to follow orders, and this was one of those moments.
