“It’s okay. Fae hearing, you know. I couldn’t help but wake to your stomping feet. You know how to make a lot of noise for someone so small.”
“Pshh,” Avery replied. “Sorry to disturb your beauty sleep, old man. I’ll keep my stomping to a minimum from now on.” She took off those intricately made boots of hers and slid into her sleeping bag. Rolling onto her side, Avery looked up at him with a mischievous smile. A bit of her blonde hair slid in front of her face. Savine had to resist the urge to take that piece of hair in his hand and twirl it between his fingers. He wondered if it would feel like spun silk.
“By the look on your face, I take it that things went well this morning?” He leaned back, tucking his hands under his pillow.
“It did go well! I talked with Mira. Watch out next time you see her. I think she was a little disappointed to hear how little of Aeritis' history you’ve shared with me. By the way, I know all about The Cleaving now. I wasn’t able to call my magic up, but I gave Garnel some human medicine, and it worked better for him than it works for humans! Once I was sure that I wouldn't accidentally poison anyone, I gave some to the warrior who had lost his leg, and it significantly reduced his pain. It’s funny, because this medicine isn’tthatstrong for humans. I’m glad I brought them relief, even if I didn’t use my alleged magical skills.”
“I’m happy you brought them some relief, although I wonder why you would choose my closest friend to potentially poison? Seems like Kyla would never go along with something like that.”
“It wasn’t like I was trying to hurt him. He was burning up with a fever, and Kyla thought it was worth the risk. She said she felt his soul fading and that his emotions were nearly gone. Is thata thing?”
Savine paused as he thought about this. He had no reference point for what a soulmate bond felt like. If he encountered his soulmate, he’d probably reject the signs and keep up his walls.
“I think the soulmate bond is different with each mate, but knowing Kyla and her abilities to feel emotions in others, it stands to reason that their bond would be a particularly emotional one.”
Avery furrowed her brow as she looked at him, still resting so near him he smelled the mint on her breath.
“You’ve never asked them about their bond? But you’re so close to both of them.”
Savine hesitated for a moment, and he knew she realized that she left the small-talk territory.
“Sorry if I’m prying. I never thought of myself as a nosy person, but living in a world where I know nobody and nothing has brought out my curiosity. We don’t have anything as deep or significant as a soulmate on Earth.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s fine that you asked. If anyone else had questioned me about this, I may have told them to mind their own business.” Savine sighed. He’d kept so much inside for so long. All the pressure felt like it was bottled up to the breaking point. “But you’re right. You don’t know the components of this world, of my world. And we should change that.Ishould change that. I want you to know more about my world and me, if you are willing.”
Avery nodded, but didn’t reply. She seemed to internalize what he said to her. Sharing personal information with her was the scariest thing he could do, and he didn’t know where this need to share the pains of his past with Avery came from. He wasn’t the kind of man who made himself vulnerable to just anyone. Abyss, he hadn’t even opened up to Kyla and Garnel about how their mating bond had nearly broken him all those years ago.
He hesitated. The hurt of those old wounds surfaced. He’d been through Abyss and back, only to find out his best friend was mated to his sister. Goddess help him. He would be devastated if Avery disapproved of him, or worse, thought him a monster after he shared his darkest parts with her.
“I’ve always been close to Garnel. He’s been like a brother to me all my life. Our families were so close that we were raised together since I was born, and he was two. When Kyla was born, I’d just reached adulthood.” Savine smiled as he thought about his baby sister. The infant who came into his life when he needed something to live for, something to distract him from his own precarious situation.
“Kyla was born into a challenging world. My father… He’s not a good man. He finds pleasure in hurting people, especially those who threaten him. I went through a lot of pain as a child, but it became worse as I developed particular skill sets that he saw as a threat. I didn’t want Kyla to experience the same thing, so I sheltered her from him as best as I could. Garnel helped, and we managed to give her a somewhat normal childhood.”
Avery reached her hand over and placed it on his arm. The fur blanket between them wasn’t enough space to keep Savine from feeling that warm radiance that flowed from her touch. Fuck, he could be buried in this feeling that her touch gave him. Let it consume him, and he’d still be begging for more.
She didn’t speak, but her soft brown eyes told him she listened to every word he said. It felt good to share his past with her. Cleansing, like slipping under warm water.
“When I was in my nineties, I made a stupid mistake for a woman I loved. I don’t want to get into the details, but Rylo, the new king of Nephel, took me captive. When the Latian king heard of my capture, he suggested Rylo punish me for my mistake. He even offeredto trade Latian land that once belonged to Nephel in exchange for Rylokeeping mefrom Latiah. My own father did nothing to stop my unjust imprisonment.”
Savine watched Avery’s face contort in shock. “Oh, Savine, that is so horrible!”
The last thing he wanted to do was recall all the details of his prolonged confinement in the Tower of Teeth. The torturous removal of bits and pieces of his soul. Either constant exposure to sunlight or weeks on end of all-consuming darkness. And he still couldn’t even say Lilith’s name to Avery. But Avery would understand him better if she understood the things that had shaped him into the man he was today. And he wanted that. He wanted to share his secrets with Avery.
“Raikin, Garnel, and Kyla saved me. I was in a prison for over two years, and when I was rescued, Kyla and Garnel had become soulmates. It hurt more than it should have, and maybe I was jealous. But when I was at my lowest, my best friend and sister replaced me. That’s why I have never asked about the mechanics of their bond. I acknowledge their bond and what that means for them. I have to deal with it constantly, and my relationship with both of them has changed because of their bond. But in the end, their bond with each other hasn’t changed their loyalty to me. Garnel and Kyla were right there with me when I led the rebellion years later. They have always acknowledged me as the leader of this rebellion, and only occasionally do they question my judgment. By occasionally, I mean constantly for Kyla.”
Avery sat up, keeping her hand on Savine’s arm. “I know you don’t like being touched, but damn, can I please just give you a hug? For what you’ve been through? I don’t know how else to express how hurt I feelfor you.”
Savine sat up and gave a tiny nod. Avery wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his neck. The feel of her close to him, acknowledging something that so few even knew about, stirred emotions he’d pushed down for decades. He felt a tightness rising in his throat as he leaned in deeper to Avery’s touch, wrapping his arms around her slight frame and pressing his face against her cheek. He closed his eyes, embracing this kind, compassionate woman. This woman whose kindness he never deserved.
Savine’s essence squirmed under his skin, calling for him to take more from this moment. He pushed down on that feeling and pulled himself back from her embrace.
“Thank you for listening to me. That is the first hug anyone has given me in a long time. Besides Kyla. She’s prone to hugging me when I least want it. Other than my sister, I haven’t had someone hug me in decades.”
Savinefeltmore vulnerable than he had in decades. Perhaps ever? This conversation had left him raw and slightly less burdened. Nobody, not even Garnel or his empath sister, listened to him how Avery just did. She listened like what he said mattered. Like his past pain was something that should be recognized. She didn’t say she was sorry for the pain he’d experienced. Thank the Goddess. He hated pity from others. No, her listening was more like she would hear his truth in order to lighten his burden.
“Oh, Savine, it’s because you’re always trying to portray yourself as some tough old asshole. People are afraid to hug you,” she said, tapping his arm lightly with her hand in a flirtatious manner. Just as she pulled her hand back, she looked him in the eyes, and reduced his entire world to those pools of warm milk chocolate.
“But I see you,” she said, tilting her head slightly. “You aren’t the arrogant commander that you work so hard to portrayyourself as. You aren’t someone who hates being touched. You carry a lot of pressure, pain, and burdens and have nobody to share that load. Let me help. Let me be your friend.” As she spoke, she reached for Savine’s hand, lacing her own rough fingers through his calloused fingers.
