I sit up, the world spinning as I scan the nightstand by her side of the bed.
Nothing.
Fuck.
I check under her pillow, careful not to dislodge her, even though I’m suddenly desperate to shake her awake and demand to know why the fuck she isn’t wearing my necklace. Instead, I climb out of bed and go to my knees to check under the frame. I hurry into the bathroom because maybe she took it off when she showered.
But it’s not there either.
It’s fucking gone.
Fuck. What if she threw it away?
I spin around to face the bed, staring at her through narrowed eyes that pulse with every frantic heartbeat.
My chest does that thing again where it forgets how to work properly, and I’m not spiraling, fuck that, I’m just?—
Something glints at me from her curled-up hand.
I stride over, leaning down to stare at the length of silver chain draped over one finger.
My head thumps double time along with my heart as I gently—so fucking gently it’s pathetic—pry open her fingers.
Her butterfly necklace drops onto the sheet.
The thing probably cost me five bucks back then. I thought I was hot shit for getting it. Looks like the cheap metal chain gave out, snapped right through.
She kept it with her as she slept.
I sit there on the edge of the bed, staring at the tiny silver butterfly with its plastic sapphire, trying to swallow through a too-tight throat.
She was holding it so tightly. Like it still mattered. LikeIstill matter.
Even after I walked out.
Evenbroken.
I look at her—still breathing slowly, still peaceful—and I want to wake her up. Want to apologize. Want to be better than I am.
But I don’t.
I know I need to fix this, but not with a pathetic apology I’ll probably mess up anyway. Haven fucks with my head on a good day…add in a bunch of emotions I’ve never been good at handling, and my mind turns into a fucking dumpster fire.
Necklace in my fist, I pad quietly into the kitchen.
There’s a notepad by the fridge. Haven used it to scrawl down some groceries.
MARSHMALLOWS X2
TOILET PAPER
COFFEE
RAMEN
BEER
I added the beer and ramen yesterday, but I see there’s another addition under mine.
