My eyes snap up to Kai’s face. “What?”
“I’m starving. Let’s order some takeout.” The frown on his face deepens. “What’s wrong?”
I roll up the newspaper. My legs carry me to the kitchen on autopilot.
“Nothing,” I mumble, blinking back a hot rush of tears as I stomp the trash can’s foot pedal.
With my sore foot.
“Fuck!” I stagger back, barely tossing the paper inside before the lid slams shut.
I’m too numb to catch my balance in time, but Kai lunges and gets to me before I fall. Him catching me in his arms like that would have been romantic as fuck…if I didn’t feel like puking.
“Whoa.” Kai steadies me, hands gripping my shoulders as he steers me to the closest sofa. I fall down on the cushion, staring at nothing.
“What the hell’s going on, Heavenly?”
I can’t answer. Can’t think past the roaring in my ears.
Bobby’sdead.
My father is fuckingdead.
And instead of crying, I’m biting back a laugh.
“You’re freaking me out, Heavenly,” Kai says.
“I’m fine.” My voice sounds robotic even to my own ears. “It’s…it’s my foot. I shouldn’t have?—“
“Bullshit.” He drops to his knees in front of me, those green eyes drilling into mine as he grabs my thighs and squeezes me through my beige leggings. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I open my mouth. Nothing comes out.
Just say it, Haven. A couple of words. Easy.
“My dad.” I croak. “He’s…he’s dead. It’s in the paper.”
Kai’s face goes through like twenty emotions in three seconds—shock, confusion, concern, suspicion. Then something else he quickly covers with a hard frown.
It almost looked like relief.
“Fuck.” He rocks back on his heels. “Heavenly, I?—”
“Don’t.” I press my fingertips to his mouth, because if he says he’s sorry, or my dad’s in a better place, or some other condescending crap, I’ll lose it. “Just…don’t?—“
A laugh bubbles up, and I have to roll my lips together to smother it.
Fuck, what’s wrong with me?
“Yeah, but…that’s a lot. Are you okay?” He looks so lost. “Can I get you something?”
A conscience, maybe. Got one of those lying around?
I clap a hand over my mouth to cover my squirming lips.
Kai eyes me suspiciously. “Are you…laughing?”
“I’m glad, okay?” The confession rips out of me. “I’mgladhe’s dead, because I’m a horrible person.”
