My brother thought he was saving my life. Every punch, every kick, every time he made me feel worthless and small—he thought he was toughening me up for something worse.
What I can’t get over is…he might have been right.
If I hadn’t had Haven to run to, I might have ended up just like him—broken and bitter and so full of rage that hurting those closest to me was the only thing that makes sense.
But Ididhave Haven.
I’ve always had Haven.
Still, I chose violence more often than not.
Yet still, she’s here. Still by my side during what must be one of the most uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinners in history.
And she’s defending me.
“You want to know what makes Haven special?” My voice is steady and calm, but fuck knows where the stillness is coming from.
I hold on to it like a lifeline anyway.
“Everything, Ezra. Every single fucking thing.”
My brother’s eyes narrow and his lips part to speak, but I just keep going.
“She grew up in the same shithole we did. Her dad was a junkie who—” I stop, swallowing hard. The abuse Haven suffered is not my story to tell. “She went through hell too, Ezra. But she’s still here.”
“Kai, darling,” Sharon says. “Why don’t we all relax a little and have some dessert? There’s a pie?—“
“Shut the fuck up, Sharon,” Richard cuts in without even looking at his wife. “Can’t you see Kai’s trying to impress his little bitch? Big man, aren’t we, son?”
Haven grabs my hand and I squeeze it, drawing strength from her touch as I do something that’s always felt impossible—ignoring my father.
The growl he makes when I keep my eyes fixed on Ezra, when I keep speaking like he didn’t say a word, makes the hairs on my nape prickle…but I don’t stop.
“She’s still the kindest, funniest, most stubborn person I’ve ever known.” I let out a shuddering breath. “She saw the worst parts of me—the cruelty, the violence, all the shit I did to her because I was too weak to question your lies—and she forgave me anyway. Not because she’s stupid or naive. But because she knows what it’s like to be so broken that you want to break everyone around you just so you can feel normal again.”
Ezra shoves his hands into his pockets, a sullen set to his jaw.
“She’s special because she makes me want to be a better man. Because when I’m with her, I can actually see a version of myselfthat isn’t a complete fucking disaster, and I want that for her. Forus.”
My voice cracks, but I push through. Ezra drops his gaze, so I look at Sharon, then Richard, forcing my spine straight.
For the first time in my life, I’m standing tall around my family.
“I love Haven. I’ve loved her since the day we met, and I’ll love her until the day I die.” I sandwich her hand between mine, squeezing. “I’m going to marry her if she’ll have me. Even though I know I don’t deserve her. Even though I know I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make up for everything I’ve done.”
Haven makes a soft sound beside me, but if I look at her right now, I’ll fall apart. Instead, I look back at Ezra. He’s glaring at Haven under his lashes, but when he hears my voice directed at him, he shifts his gaze back to me.
“You thought you were protecting me?” My voice drops low. “You ruined my fucking life. You filled my head with lies about her. You made me hate the only person who ever truly loved me.”
Ezra’s scowl tightens.
“We could have helped each other. We could have gotten out together.”
I shake my head slowly.
“But you just couldn’t stand that I had something good when everything in your life was shit. So you chose violence, just like Dad. And I did as well, but that’s all changed.”
“You ungrateful shit.” Richard’s chair scrapes back, but he stays in his seat. “Everything you have, everything you are, is because of me.”
