My mind is nowhere near capable of crafting some manipulative bullshit to drag Haven and Kai back into my toxic orbit.
So I go into the group chat, and I hold down the record button, and I…
…I blow my house of straw to fucking smithereens.
Chapter 32
Haven
“Fuck…just…just a little more, please,” I breathe. My hands twist in the sheets, my thighs shivering and my back arching as I desperately chase something that keeps slipping away.
Kai’s tongue is relentless. Soft, then firm. Slow circles that make my toes curl, then quick flicks that have me gasping. He’s been down there for what feels like an eternity, and I’m so close I can almost taste it?—
“You like that?” he murmurs against me, and the vibration sends a jolt through my clit.
“Yeah. Yeah, fuck, just like that,” I say, mentally begging him to shut the hell up.
It’s been like this since he started. I’m almost there, so fucking close, then he’ll hesitate and fuckingtalk.
Which instantly shatters the illusion of Bastian between my legs, or him and Kai alternating—or any of the fucked up fantasies that have been playing through my mind since Kai came down my throat earlier.
Kai pulls back slightly, his finger still pumping in and out of my pussy.
“Want me to go harder?”
I know he’s probably just giving his jaw a break, but just like that, the orgasm I’d been building toward evaporates, leaving me frustrated and bordering on a scream.
“You were doing fine,” I manage, my voice strained. “Just keep going.”
He does. Kai’s nothing if not determined. But the magic is gone now, and we both know it. I can feel it in the way his rhythm falters, the way his hands grip my thighs a little too tight, like he’s trying to hold on to something that’s already slipped away.
Bastian would never ask if it was okay.
The thought surfaces unbidden, and I shove it down so hard I nearly choke.
No. I’m not doing that again. We’re here, in our bed, in our space, and this is about me and Kai. Just me and Kai.
I close my eyes and try to focus on the sensations he’s forcing from my body. The wet heat of his mouth. The scratch of his stubble against my inner thighs. The soft sounds he makes, like he’s enjoying this as much as I should be.
It’s good. It’s objectively technically good.
So why can’t I just fucking come?
We’re trying so hard to be enough for each other…but we keep failing.
That’s what this is, really. Kai’s mouth on me, my hands in his hair, both of us pretending that last night didn’t happen. That we didn’t show up drunk at Bastian’s door. That he didn’t drive us home without asking for anything in return. That we didn’t fuck each other senseless afterward while we were both thinking about him.
We’re trying.
It’s not working.
Kai’s voice is muffled. “Stop tensing up, Heavenly.”
“Sorry. Sorry, I’m just—“ I blow out a breath. “It’s the weed. We shouldn’t have smoked. It’s fucking with me.”
It’s not the weed.
“You want me to stop?”
