“Look at me, boy.”
He doesn’t respond.
“Kai, please. Just look at me.”
A long moment passes. Then, slowly, he raises his head. His green eyes are bloodshot, red-rimmed, and so fucking empty.
“What I did tonight was…unforgivable.” The words struggle to leave my tight throat. “Not telling you the truth—you deserved to know that. But the way I told you…”
I pause, forcing myself to hold his gaze even though every fiber of my being screams at me to look away.
“I know what it’s like to feel as if your own body has betrayed you. To wonder if wanting something makes you…” I force a swallow. “Weak. Or broken.”
Kai’s jaw tightens, his eyelids quivering, but he doesn’t look away.
“And I know it takes time to figure that stuff out for yourself.” My voice drops. “But it’s so much easier for me to be cruel than to be kind.”
The mausoleum is so quiet I can hear the wind whistling outside.
“I’m sorry, Kai.” The words feel foreign to my tongue. Clumsy. But I mean them. “You don’t deserve what I did to you tonight. No one does.”
Kai stares at me for a long moment.
Then he drops his head back down, a shuddering breath escaping his lungs.
He doesn’t acknowledge the apology. Just stands there, processing. Or maybe he’s just surviving—like we all are.
I glance up at Haven.
She gives me a small nod. It’s not forgiveness, but she at least recognizes that I tried, which is more than I expected.
And more than I fucking deserve.
I smile, wincing as my injured face protests the movement. The adrenaline is fading, leaving behind exhaustion and the throbbing ache of my wounds.
“Come back to my house,” I say, looking at Haven, but directing the words to Kai where he’s still standing, bent head and shivering. “We can talk. Or not talk. I have cocoa and bourbon.” I attempt a laugh, but it sounds hollow in this sacred space that we’ve so thoroughly defiled. “I even have those little marshmallows you like.”
Haven gives me a wan smile. “The marshmallows aren’t a lie?”
I shake my head, chuckling despite myself. “Not this time.”
She glances at Kai, her smile turning fond. “Not tonight,” she says quietly.
“Haven—”
“Not tonight,” she repeats slowly. Firmly.
“She’s taking our toy away,”Bad Wolf snarls.
“She’s protecting him,”Good Wolf corrects.“From you.”
I want to insist. I’m the one who decides when this ends, after all.
But when I look at Kai, I see a boy who’s barely holding himself together. Who needs space and calm right now, not more of my chaos.
“Fine.” I hear how dismissive I sound, but I can’t do anything about my tone of voice. This is what happens when you give someone a piece of yourself. You’re left with a chink in your armor.
“Go home. When you two are ready to stop self-destructing, you know where to find me.”
