Bastian touches his cheek again, then strides over to where he dropped his shirt and collects his coat from the sarcophagus, and puts them both back on without a word.
Kai opens his mouth, but he closes it when I hold up a finger.
Neither of us is going to prompt him again. I want this to come from Bastian without manipulation or bribery or any fucking form of coercion.
Because we’re better than him.
Bastian heads for the door, tugging the lapels of his trench coat. When he pauses with his hand on the handle, my heart slams against my ribs. But he just scans the room until he spots his wolf mask, then goes over to retrieve it.
“For fuck’s sake, Bastian!” I yell when he reaches for the door handle again.
So much for not coercing him.
Bastian rips his hand away, curling it into a shaking fist.
“Fine!” he grates, spinning to face us again. “I want you both.” His mouth pulls like he’s bitten into a rotten apple. “I’ve wanted you both from the beginning.”
“Why?” Kai croaks, shaking his head. His green eyes are glimmering, but it could just be the play of moonlight through the stained glass windows.
Bastian looks away, turning as if he plans on leaving without replying. But then the tension leaves his shoulders and his jaw goes slack.
He keeps his eyes averted, staring at the window like it’s easier than looking at us.
“I—I saw the way you two—the way you looked at each other.” Bastian seems to struggle with the words, but once he gets started, they rush out, unstoppable. “All that hate and anger and pain. I wanted that chaos. I needed to be inside it. And when you wouldn’t let me in…”
He trails off, jaw tightening.
“You decided to destroy us instead,” I finish.
He doesn’t deny it.
Kai’s staring at Bastian like he’s just confirmed every dark thought he had about our professor. “That’s why you came to the bar?—“
“Haven gave me the perfect in,” Bastian says. “You were angry, frustrated, vulnerable. Whywouldn’tI take advantage of the situation?”
“Did you…did we really…”
My heart sinks at the fear in Kai’s eyes.
Bastian’s expression flickers. For just a second, it looks like regret.
“You really want to know?” Bastian asks in a quiet voice.
Kai steps back like our professor just pulled the pin out of a grenade and asked if he wants to hold it. Then he swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing, and shakes his head.
“No. I’ve come up with every scenario, and they’re all fucked. I don’t—“ He swipes a hand through the air. “I don’t want to know.”
Bastian shakes his head. “Trust me, boy, you haven’t thought of everything.”
“Just let him talk,” I murmur, stepping up to him and laying a hand on his arm.
“He’s just going to lie.” Kai leans away from me, crossing his arms tight against his sparkling chest. Even with all the wrestling and fighting, there’s still a metric ton of glitter on his skin.
“No.” I look over at Bastian, at his irritated frown, the hard set of his mouth. “He won’t. Because we need to know the truth, or he’s not seeing either of us again.”
Kai flicks hair out of his face with a snap of his neck, lifting his chin. “Fine. But for once in your miserable fucking life, don’t fuck around with me.”
Bastian is quiet for a long moment before he lets out a soft sigh and nods.
