So why does it feel like I’m careening toward a cliff in a car with no brakes?
Because someone’s cut my brake lines…and for once, my pets aren’t responsible.
I sit down, open my laptop.
Stare at the screen without seeing it.
…wouldn’t last a day…
“Fuuuck,” I grind out through clenched teeth as I press my eyelids closed with too much force.
In that star-studded darkness, I think of Haven in the woods.
The catch in her breath when I ordered her to touch herself. Her reluctant obedience. The shame and arousal warring behind those pretty blue eyes as she spread her legs for me against that tree.
My cock stirs, rousing despite my foul mood.
I slide my hand behind my sweats, gripping myself as I imagine Haven’s small hand wrapped around my cock instead, stroking?—
But then it’s Kai’s hand.
Kai in that alley, glaring at me, green eyes blown black with fury and terror and?—
…wouldn’t last a day…
My hand stills.
The arousal is still there, but it’s soured by what feels uncomfortably like?—
No.
I don’t do guilt.
Guilt is for people who believe in hope, and second chances, and the comforting delusion that we can fix past mistakes.
There is no going back.
There is only forward.
And forward means getting what I want—whatever the cost.
But my cock has softened in my hand, and the leadenness behind my sternum won’t budge, and Good Wolf is howling now, loud enough to drown out everything else.
“You don’t deserve them?—“
My phone buzzes.
I snatch it from the desk, both angry and grateful for the interruption.
Let it be Haven, desperate for more attention. Or Kai, thanking me for getting him off the hook I strung him up on.
I huff through my nose at the notification on my screen.
@jordan.ezra
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately
I don’t want to, but I can’t help it
