And the part that makes me want to put my fist through a wall?
I’m fuckinghopingit was him.
Because if it wasn’t Rooke, then it was some other guy. A stranger I let close enough to touch.
…And to do God knows what else while I was blackout drunk.
That’s worse.
That’s so much fucking worse.
Rooke is a manipulative, gaslighting psychopath who could easily have forced me to do something I didn’t want to do. If it wasn’t him…then it means I only have myself to blame.
That I wanted—fuck, maybe evensought out—something Idon’twant.
If my phone wasn’t dead, I’d have messaged Kruger already to?—
Bullshit.
I wouldn’t have messaged him. I’m too fuckingfragileafter this clusterfuck of a weekend.
I don’t want answers.
I want Haven.
The bathroom door opens.
I jerk upright, heart slamming in my chest.
Haven stands in the doorway, her face pale and drawn. She looks like she’s been carrying the weight of every bad decision she’s ever made, and it’s finally crushing her.
But she’s wearing a new cable-knit sweater dress, and she washed her hair, and it looks like she put on makeup. Blue eyeshadow to match her dress. Lipstick I’ve never seen her wear before.
Like she’s on her way to a fucking date.
“Kai,” she breathes.
I should go to her. Should wrap her in my arms and tell her it’s okay. I’m out, we’re fine.
But I don’t move.
Because jealousy, resentment, and outright possessive rage flood me like fresh concrete.
“You went to him.” My voice is flat.
Her hands bunch into fists at her side. “Kai, I?—”
“You fucked him, didn’t you?”
She flinches like I’ve hit her and turns her head away.
“You fucked him while I was stuck in that cell, while Thatcher was interrogating me. You were bending over for him, moaning his name, thanking him for getting rid of me,weren’t you?”
Her eyes glitter when she looks at me, as she stammers out a faint, “No—I—It wasn’t like that.”
“Then what was it like?” I’m on my feet, closing the distance. She backs up until she hits the doorjamb, hands clutching at the thick fabric drawn taut over her stomach. “Tell me, Haven. Explain it to me. Because I’ve had two fucking days to imagine every scenario, and they all end with you choosing him over me.”
“I didn’t have a choice.” Her chin is trembling and tears sparkle in her lashes, but her voice is steady.
