“Never dumb. Just naive little shits.” He grinds against my ass, his cock so hard it feels like a flashlight. “We should do it.”
I scoff. “Steal an RV?”
“Go to the beach.”
“Like a vacation?”
I reach behind me with my free hand, burrowing between us for his dick, gripping it tight enough to feel his blood pulsing through the shaft.
His lips touch the edge of my jaw, the side of my mouth.
“I mean, like forever,” he murmurs.
“Please,” I say through a dry chuckle. “Like you’d give up your posh life to slum it in a van.”
His body tenses against mine. A heartbeat, no longer. Then he relaxes and makes a sound that could have been a chuckle, if it weren’t so resigned. “Yeah. Who’d want to give this up?”
I desperately want to tell him I was here when he had his breakdown last night. Because then I could ask him what’s wrong and we could hash it out.
But I know Kai.
First, he’d be embarrassed. Then he’d get angry. Best-case scenario, he’ll throw me out. Worst case…he won’t talk to me until he’s forgiven me.
That took three years last time.
I can’t risk losing him again. Not after I’ve seen the cracks in him.
Deep, bleeding cracks that look so much like mine.
I need Kai.
And I think he needs me too. It feels like it, the way he’s holding me, molding against my back, ready to claim me again.
But honestly, I don’t give a fuck if he doesn’t.
I’m selfish enough that I don’t care one way or the other.
I needhim.
Not just his warm body. Or his big hands on mine. The hard cock nudging the back of my thigh.
I need the boy who so quickly became my first and only friend. Mybest friend.And I desperately need the man that boy turned into.
Someone who will be there for me when I fall.
Because Ialwaysfall.
Fall, and shatter.
If Kai’s not there to pick up the pieces…I won’t survive.
If I’m not there when he breaks, maybe he won’t survive either.
This isn’t love.
It’s survival.
We’re both trapped in an ocean of trauma, destined to go under, unless we find something to hold on to.
