I’m too fucked up to sleep, so I grab a tampon and go back to the bathroom. The one I had in slips out like a dead thing before I’ve even tugged on the string.
All I can smell is blood. It’s there even when I breathe through my mouth.
I want to puke again, but I force it down and clean myself up as best I can with shaking hands.
Melissa’s back in our room.
With a bucket and a pair of neon pink rubber gloves. The smell of detergent hits my nose, but it can hardly compete with the blood. It’s like it’s soaked into the lining of my nose.
She goes to her knees beside the bed as I step into the room.
“What the hell are you doing?” I snap.
“What’s it look like?” She gives me a frown over her shoulder and then sits back on her heels, her frown becoming concerned. “You sure you’re?—“
I don’t know why the fuck I do it. Suppose I’m still riding the hysteria from the nightmare. Still pissed that Kai and Bastian have even found their way into my dreams, so they can torment twenty-four-fucking-seven.
From the way she frowns at me, like I’ve lost my fucking mind, Melissa doesn’t know why I grab her robe and drag her away from my bed, either.
“Leave it.” I snatch the scrub brush out of her hand, tossing it into the soapy water.
“I was just trying to?—”
“It’s my mess,I’llclean it up.”
She throws her hands in the air. “Why are you being so?—”
“Leave my stuff alone. Leavemealone. Just—” I swipe a hand through the air. “Just fuck off, okay?”
She hugs herself, shaking her head. “Are you still drunk or something? Why are you?—”
“I don’t need you doing shit for me, okay? I can handle this. I can handle Ezra. I can handle whatever the fuck life throws my way. Got it?”
“Wow,” Melissa mutters, stripping off the gloves and tossing them onto the carpet beside the bucket. “You’re a mean drunk.”
“Just go back to sleep, Melissa. Dream about some fucking ponies or something.” I turn my back on her so I don’t have to witness her confusion.
So she doesn’t have to witness my face scrunching up with silent tears.
She brought a stack of clean linen with her, and I drag one of the sheets over the mattress so I don’t have to keep looking at it.But the blood immediately starts soaking through like some B-Rate horror movie scene. I grab my AHC tote—I moved it out of the car earlier today in case Kai jerks off in Bastian’s Land Rover again—and head downstairs.
No way I’m sleeping again tonight. Might as well catch up on my studying.
I turn the corner into the living room and drop my bag when I catch sight of a figure huddled in the shadows beside the fireplace.
When I flick on the lights, the figure dissolves into nothing…because it was never there.
This ghost is inside my head.
Chapter 32
Haven
“How are you feeling?” Melissa stands in the doorway like she owns the lease on my suffering…and rent was due last week.
My eyes flicker open to stare at the wall beside my bed. The sofas downstairs are uncomfortable as fuck. I spent an hour tossing and turning down there before skulking back upstairs, grabbing a towel from the bathroom, and laying it down on the bed so I could get some sleep.
Seriously, the back seat of my car was comfier.
