“It’s not. I wanted to kill him that day.” He hesitated. “I would have. But when you asked me not to interfere, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to help, but I also wanted to respect your choice in the matter.”
“None of it makes sense. I don’t even know why I let him do that.” My voice strained as I sifted through memories to find a reason for the feelings that had abruptly emerged. “One minute I was myself and the next, I—I was someone I don’t even recognize.”
“I’m not sure anyone understands how they get there—one day they justarethere. The most important part is finding your way out.” Col pressed his head into mine. “Stay in Kuroden. You don’t even need to live in the townhouse, I’ll find you a place of your own.”
“There’s a travel ban.” I exhaled and shook my head. “Even if I wanted to, I …”
“Audryn.” Col’s voice was as smooth as the silk on the dress he’d given me. “If I’ve ever given you the impression that I give a single fuck about any of the Suttons’ rules, let me assure you: I don’t.” He continued, “Bring your father with you.”
I pulled back, bumping the back of my head into the stony wall behind me. “I can’t leave my friends.”
“Bring them too.” He clasped my hand. “Whatever you want, I’ll make it happen. Just stay and I’ll get them myself. Let me keep you safe.”
“It’s not only that. There are things I need to take care of in Rivale.” My voice stuttered, “I—I can’t just leave.”
Without the records, I wasn’t sure how I’d find the name of the executioner if Ryder refused my request. And with King Sutton actively dying, I had little time left to take care of it myself. Though my absence clarified my feelings toward the prince, it also made it impossible to meet my goals.
“Why do you need to go back? Maybe I can help.” Col tilted his head.
“You can’t,” I lied, knowing he was much more qualified for the task than I was. But it was my family that was destroyed, and I wanted to be the one to return the gruesome favor to the Suttons. “Were you taking me somewhere, or just showing me you have caves here in Kuroden?”
“Have you always been this stubborn? Or is it only with me?” He waited for a breath, then turned away.
The echoing of our clacking boots was all that filled the space between us as he led me down the dark tunnel. I was grateful he hadn’t pushed the issue further because I might’ve cracked if he had, and I wasn’t sure I could fully trust him. I’d only told Jaspar because of our shared desire to see Kamden’s murderer dead. And when I joked around with Benton, I always downplayed my true intentions.
We turned down a small shaft, and Col put a hand on my head to guide me away from the low ceiling. Wood braces pushed against the walls, and the air turned musty. Tools, wooden crates, and discarded stone lined the path.
“This mine is new, so stay close. It’s not yet deemed safe.” He led me further. “It’s just ahead.”
We walked down the straight path and found ourselves in a small alcove. My breath caught. Countless gems embedded in the onyx walls reflected off the torch's bouncing flames. We were merely observers of something far grander than ourselves. I looked at the stone ceiling and spun slowly, taking it all in.
“This is incredible.” My mouth hung open as I admired each glittering speck.
“We supply gems to nearly all kingdoms, including Rivale.” Col’s eyes danced around the room. “We may rely on others for the majority of our food, but they rely on us for this. Ryder likely got the gem for your ring from us. It was probably mined from one of our mountains.”
He hadn’t referred to it as my engagement ring and didn’tcall Ryder my prince. Whether intentional or not, his words were more thoughtful than usual.
I ran a hand across the wall, letting each bump and jagged edge dig into my palm. “It’s funny how something so beautiful can live in such a dark place.”
“Seems to frequently be the case.” His voice was low as the heat of his body warmed my back. “But the irony is, it's the immense pressure that forms the beauty to begin with.”
My breath faltered as I leaned back into him; I wanted his body against me. Ineededit against me. In a land filled with so much uncertainty, Col’s support was the only thing that remained consistent.
He slipped my hair to the side and draped it over my right shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine. “It’s yours. Take what you need to create what you want. Use each gem to make your own beauty from the darkness.” Col leaned in and held my mother’s pendant between his fingers. “I will go into every dark place for the chance to make your smile return.”
My mind raced. All I wanted to do was turn around and kiss him. But my thoughts shifted back to reality as I realized he’d given me a solution to one of the biggest problems I faced.
I whirled. “Take me to the seeps.”
“What? Why?” Col called out as I hurried out of the mine. “Wait!”
Continuing forward, I picked up my pace, standing tall as I jogged to the exit. I was headed through total darkness, with only a flickering light behind me, but the idea he’d given was brighter than any torch.
Col ran to catch up. “Tell me what’s going on.”
“Get me to a seep and you’ll see, whichever one is closest.”
Zalzre had flown faster than normal, perhaps feeling either my anxiety or Col’s. Even Col held me tighter as we ascended to a peaked mountain so quickly that my stomach threatened toempty. We landed hard near an unfamiliar slick puddle, and if it wasn’t for the moon’s reflection, I would have fallen in.
