“Say the word and I’ll take you to my bed and worship your body for the rest of the night. And when morning comes,” I breathed, “I’ll cover every inch of you with my mouth once more until the sun dips behind the mountains.” My lips crashed into hers.
“Col,” she breathed as she drew back.
My mouth travelled down to her neck. “Yeah?” I asked, regretting the seconds lost to answer.
“We can’t.” She pushed me away.
I searched her face, but she looked away. “You don’t want to?”
“It would cause so many issues for Rivale and Kuroden. Too many people depend on you.”
“For you, I’d go to war.” I dove back into her.
She shoved me back as her hand fumbled for the knobbehind her. “We can’t.” Her words were simple, and as the door opened, my heart sank. “We just … can’t,” she said as if trying to convince herself. Audryn stepped back into the room and closed the door behind her.
She had shut me out.
10
COLGRAVE
Fists rained against my bedroom door. Amalee methodically rocked in the corner as our mother sat on the floor in front of us. With a racing heart, I searched for Micah and found him hiding under the bed with his eyelids pinched closed. It would only be a matter of time before the beast living inside my father either became too tired to continue or forced its way into the room and found its next victim.
“It’s going to be okay,” my mother said, extending her arm for Micah to hold. “He’ll go to bed soon.” The absence of lines on her face forced me to realize that my mind was in the midst of sifting through an old memory. The recurring dream found me most during times of stress.
“Get out here, Athela!” my father screamed as he transitioned from fist to boot against the wood.
Another dinner had quickly gone wrong, leaving those in the entire castle running for cover from his weaponized hands. Our lives revolved around his mood, and though my mother mitigated the situation as best she could, it was never enough to keep him from laying into one of us.
“Close your eyes, it’ll be over soon,” she reassured us. “You’re protected. Nobody will hurt you. I will keep you safe.” The familiar words were a broken promise she repeated every few days.
My eyes went wide as the wood started to bow and splinter from the beating it was taking. At fifteen, I was not only outmatched in strength, but my father’s eroding magic was superior to the voiding magic I held. I had tried to take my mother’s place many times, but she remained his primary target in the end.
Amalee squeezed her eyes shut as her soft voice mirrored the words of our mother. But I couldn’t look away from the impending threat no matter how much I tried. I wanted to see the havoc, especially since he’d later inevitably act as if he weren’t responsible for the injuries he caused.
“Let me go talk to him.” I shifted to my feet. But my mother pulled me back down and narrowed her amber eyes at me in warning. If I could spare the members of my family from even one beating, I’d take them all myself.
“This is your last fucking chance! Get out here and face me, or the children will.” His voice hit an octave I’d rarely heard, and by the look on my mother’s face, she noted it as well. “Which one will it be this time? Perhaps Amalee? Or shall I go for the orphan? Or maybe the head of your precious son!”
Micah hadn’t gone unscathed from Thalion’s hands. My parents promised his dying mother that he'd be treated as one of their own, and unfortunately for him, my father held true to the agreement.
My mother squeezed my brother’s hand as tears streaked his cheeks. “Everything’s fine. I’m going to speak with him—everything will be okay.Youwill be okay.”
“No.” My voice cracked as desperation rippled through me.
Placing a kiss on top of Amalee’s head, she repeated themantra with her, “You’re protected. Nobody will hurt you. I will keep you safe.”
“You can’t go out there.” My brows knitted. “Don’t leave us.”
She sucked in a breath and forced her mouth into a tight smile, tears welling in the troughs of her eyes. “You’ll be fine, Col. Just close and lock the door behind me.”
“No!” My voice was frantic as panic set in. “He’s going to hurt you—let me go instead!”
“Time’s running out!” my father shouted and began the countdown we had all learned to expect. “Ten! Nine!”
“Let me do something,” I pleaded. “I’m stronger since I’ve been training, I can help. I will be the one to keepyousafe.”
She’d forbidden me from stepping in even on the worst days, and she downright refused to let Amalee or me use our magic for fear of him retaliating. I’d obeyed, but hated her for it.
