“Undo what you did,” I ordered. “Fix it now!”
“Do you not feel the bond you so badly wanted?” The woman’s brow furrowed. “Are you not connected to Audryn? Does she not seem to feel the bond as well?”
“All I felt today was pure hatred. It took everything in me not to kill her. I wanted nothing more than to put my boot on her neck and crush the access to her lungs,” I sneered. “I nearly couldn’t stop myself.”
The admission should have been the end of me, yet rage still thrummed hot, wiping out all lingering remorse. If I saw Audryn again, I might just fulfill my desire.
A moment later, shame crashed over me as the revelation made its impact. How had I gone from being so certain I cared for her, to barely managing not to kill her? Seeing Orlan placing the pendant around her neck had ignited a fire within me I couldn’t extinguish. Each of her words stoked the flames.
“I warned you, concessions were required for a love so great to be mired,” Elowen continued. “A mated bond is not something to take in jest. For if you bend it, you will be left with unrest.”
“Speak real fucking words!” I hit the table with a fist. I was tired of her antics.
“A bond is greater than almost any love. Forcing it to flex to your desire will indeed give you the love you seek, but love can live alongside hatred. Only you can mitigate the feelings you experience.”
“So I’ll hate my wife?”
Elowen’s mouth ticked up. “Do we not all hate our spouses at times? You must learn to control your anger if either of you will survive the bent connection.”
“That wasn’t what I asked for.” I pressed. “You didn’t tell me what it would take. If I had known?—”
“Then what?” the woman cut in. “You’d have married Audryn without a mating bond?” She scoffed. “Your throne would be your sister’s, and you’d be sitting in the shadows watching her make the decisions for Rivale.”
My head tilted to the ceiling. As much as I’d like to say I would’ve chosen differently, I wouldn’t have. I would’ve killed anyone who impeded the throne, and apparently that included Audryn.
“That’s what I thought. Knowing what you know now, you’d still choose the same fate.” Elowen sat back in her chair, arrogance seeping from her pores. “Though the bond is there for both of you to grab, do be wary. Your dearest may refuse, and that won’t be temporary.”
I drew back. “What do you mean? You said it was a true mating bond.”
“Anyone can refuse a mating bond, whether given from the Divine or Macabre itself.” Her brow twitched. “You cannot force someone to accept, though you can guide them.”
“How do I get her to accept it?” Worry poured into every crevice of my mind.
“Shall I instruct you how to properly bed a woman too?” She lifted an eyebrow and shrugged. “I suppose you begin with an apology and keep her close. Prove your love to her.”
My heart raced at the thought of admitting my wrongdoing. If I retracted my statements, Audryn might return to her defiant behavior. Though I had overreacted, I still needed her to fall in step. But if I refused to make amends, it could cost me the crown.
“Such decisions,” Elowen tsked. She started for the door, rubbing her fingers over my shoulder and across my back as she passed.
“I don’t want to be like my father,” I mumbled.
She turned. “Oh, but you see, Prince,”—she smirked—“you already are.”
With the click of the door, I was left ruminating on what I'd become and who I’d hoped to be. And as time passed and anger waned, contrition filled the gaps.
On wobbling legs, I made my way down the halls, temper dissipating with each step until it was gone entirely. Roark stood stationed at the end of the corridor, and I realized I’d forgotten to ask him about Allura’s tea. But it no longer seemed to matter. Even if I discovered Audryn was to blame for the wrongdoing or had given the buttercups to Maris, I no longer cared.
“Fisher.” I dipped my chin in his direction before turning to Audryn’s door. I went to knock but paused, my hand lingering on the wood. What was I going to say? There was no excuse for the way I behaved, but I couldn’t leave the situation as it was.
At first, I knocked lightly on the door. No answer. After several more attempts, I pushed the door open and stepped in cautiously. I’d half expected her to be sobbing on the bed, but the room was empty.
Her beige dress hung over a chair, dust covering the entire bottom. My stomach sank, reliving what I’d done. I gathered the fabric and took it to Fisher, ordering it to be laundered.
A large stack of books sat on one side of the bed and two open books lay face down on a nearby table. My hand ran over the open items; she wasn’t only brushing up on Rivale’s history, but Kuroden’s as well. I smiled to myself; I was lucky to have such a woman.
Even as my guest, she was researching the kingdom of the king I'd been hosting. She was sure to succeed when it was her job to host as the queen. I hadn’t yet told her that her suggestion with the bitumen worked and that the repairs on the castle were forthcoming. Audryn was smarter than she looked and wasn’t only the lowly market girl everyone saw her as. Perhaps she’d like to visit her home to show everyone she’d claimed a prince to call her own.
Water sloshed onto the bathing room floor, drawing my attention. I took a seat on the sofa near the window and waited. When she walked through the door, my heart swelled with nothing but pride and love.
