My pulse is wild, shame and want swirling together until I can’t tell them apart. I clutch the pillow tighter, holding onto the last ghost of warmth before it fades.
It isn’t just desire I’m feeling. It’s something bigger. Something terrifying. Something I don’t know if I’m ready for.
17
NOAH
I didn’t mean to hear it.
I think it’s hot. Not the dominant or rough stuff,”he said. “The… I don’t know—the shared control, but also the trust between them.”
It stopped me in my tracks.
I stood there for too long, listening like a creep, before Ciarán called my name and snapped me out of it.
Back upstairs, I move through the apartment like a man possessed, cleaning the already clean apartment. Why is this place so fucking clean?
I think it’s hot.
I can still hear him saying it, like he didn’t just light me on fucking fire.
The thought of Gabe enjoying a dirty scene in a book, yeah, that’s turning me on big time. I flicked through the book during the week when he left it on the sofa. I knew he was reading it for book club, but I didn’t know if it was something he liked or just read because they picked it. And all I can see now is his face—wine-pinked cheeks, waves mussed, smiling like he couldn’t hold it back if he tried.
Fuck, he’s so beautiful it overwhelms me. I groan loudly into the empty apartment. I need to get myself under control.
I head into my room and throw my headphones on. Hopefully, some music will drown out my wandering thoughts. I sit on the edge of my bed for for a few songs, knee bouncing, trying to get lost in the music, but it’s no use.
I think it’s hot. I think it’s hot. I think it’s hot.
I stick my headphones back on the shelf and head to the bathroom. I’ll just get ready for bed and go to sleep… where I’ll probably dream about Gabe saying that.Over, and over, and over again.I brush my teeth aggressively and stare at my reflection like the man looking back at me is going to be able to help.
Then I hear a noise. Gabe must have come back up while I was in my room. I walk into the hall toward his room and listen to check.
A sound.
Breathless.
I freeze.
Another sound follows, low and needy.
And then—
My name.
Holy fucking shit.
I swear my knees nearly buckle.
The sound isn’t just arousal. It’s Gabe coming apart—and it’s my name on his lips while he does it. I haven’t heard a single sound like that from his room since I moved in, and now he’s sayingmyname.
The blood rushes south so fast I have to grip the doorframe against a wave of dizzying heat overtaking me.
I back away before I do something stupid, like knock and ask if I can watch.
Pretty please?
I shut my bedroom door silently behind me, lean against it, heart pounding.
