GABE
Aiden’s apartment smells of pancakes and fresh coffee. Somewhere in the living room, Rose’s peal of laughter rings out—joyous and unrestrained. I try to come over once a week to see them.
When I mentioned to Noah that I was coming to visit them, there was a hopeful look in his eyes. Almost as though he wanted to come with me. So, I invited him, his eyes sparkled, and the yes that fell from his mouth was immediate.
I lean against the kitchen island, fingers curled around my mug of tea, and watch Noah crouched on the playmat beside her. He’s totally at ease, his voice low and sweet as he hands her another block. The size difference is almost comical—his hand practically swallows it whole.
“Perfect,” he says as she sets it on top of their precarious tower. “Look at that. Almost as tall as Papa.”
Rose giggles, eyes sparkling with mischief, and plucks a green block from his hand before toppling the whole thing with a swift swipe.
“Nooo,” he gasps in mock devastation, collapsing onto his back on the carpet, throwing an arm dramatically over his eyes. “How could you do this to me?”
She squeals, clambering onto his chest, he laughs and pretends to struggle under her, and the sound of their combined laughter vibrates in my chest, warming me from the center.
It’s such a small thing—seeing Noah playing with my two-year-old niece—but it does something to me. The way he looks at her, patient, amused, wholly present. The way he gives her that kind of gentle steadiness. I see it in his face, how glad he is to have this, have her in his life. I think back to the other night, Noah telling me about his time in the city, how his voice echoed with loneliness. How soft his hair felt between my fingers, the open look in his eyes when they tilted up to meet mine.
“I need Uncle Gabe to save me,” he practically wails as though Rose is actually crushing him.
“The big, strong gym goer needs the bookstore owner to save him?” I ask playfully.
“I really,reallydo,” he says in a begging tone, making me laugh.
I make my way toward them, Rose slapping her hands on his chest gleefully. When she sees me coming, she crawls off him and throws a blanket over her head, giggling away.
I put my hand out for Noah. When he grasps it, a tingling sensation shoots up my arm. It’s so shocking, I don’t register him starting to pull himself up. I’m not ready for his weight and go sprawling on top of him, banging my elbow on the way down.
Rose takes that as a signal to throw the blanket aside, screaming, “BOO!” and jumps on my back. Aiden is practically crying with laughter as she starfishes on me.
“Oh shit,” Noah says, one hand gently holding my elbow. “You okay?”
I hardly register the pain, so focused on the concern in the blue depths of his eyes. Then I realize I’m still trapped on top of him, weighed down by an adorable toddler. Embarrassment floods me. I feel the hard press of his muscles. The heat of his body. “S-sorry, yeah, I’m good. Yeah, good,” I say, my voice going high. His cheeks are flushed; I’ve never seen them like that before. My face is so close to his, I can see the tiny freckles on his nose, the little creases at the corners of his eyes as he smiles.
“Okay, sweetheart, that’s enough,” Aiden chuckles, lifting Rose off us and placing her on the floor.
I get up awkwardly, muttering more apologies as I help him up. Rose immediately flies back to Noah, clinging to his leg.
“She loves you,” I murmur, more to myself than to him.
Noah looks at me, his smile beaming. “I love her too. She’s a great kid. I’m glad I get to spend more time with her now. Isn’t that right, bug?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” she chants.
From behind the stove, Aiden’s snickering to himself. Eyes ping ponging between us, looking delighted for some reason.
Noah shoots him a look I don’t understand before turning back at me, eyes softening. “Sure you’re alright?”
I bob my head, willing the redness in my cheeks to disappear. I can’t believe I was lying on top of him. I also can’t believe I didn’t panic about it.
“The event was really great, Gabe. How’s the store doing?” Aiden asks, pulling me out of my mind.
“Thank you,” I mumble, pleased that my brother thought it went well. I know I didn’t organize it, but it took a lot to stand up there in front of everyone. I thought I was going to have a panic attack, my heart was thumping so hard, and the room felt fuzzy, but when I locked eyes with Noah, I felt some of his confidence spark in me.
“Good. Better since the event, actually. I’ve had an increase in customers and…” I struggle to finish my train of thought. Aiden is watching me expectantly, so I push through. “I’ve been thinking about the online store again. Finishing it, making it live.”
The spatula clatters lightly against the pan as my brother stills, and Noah’s head snaps toward me. “Really?” His voice carries something bright and hopeful, like I’ve said I want to win the lottery and might actually pull it off.
“Yeah,” I respond, feeling like I’m on the spot now. My scar itches, but I fight the urge to touch it. “I’ve been… worried I couldn’t do it. But maybe, I might hire someone to finish it…”
