Noah’s been back a few weeks, I haven’t seen him since he returned. I actually haven’t seen him in over a year… I haven’t seen much of anyone, really. I feel awful about avoiding him; while he was Aiden’s best friend, the three of us were close enough growing up. I made sure I saw him when he visited from the city, if I could.
But after everything that happened, the fewer people who saw me and asked questions, the better.
“Yeah. Finishing touches are nearly done. Branding looks good. We’re finalizing class schedules.” His fingers tap a rhythm against the wood before his tone dips, the gesture too casual. “Noah’s still stuck at The Inn. Hasn’t been able to find somewhere yet.”
There’s a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I line up a stack of bookmarks, neatening the corners, and tap them three times on the counter.
“Mhm.”
Aiden exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “He really can’t afford it much longer. And he’s put nearly all his savings into the gym.”
My foot taps restlessly against the floor as my heart begins racing.
Please stop there.
Please don’t say it.
Please.
“You’ve got a spare room.”
I keep my eyes on the counter, resisting the urge to step back, to run and put space between us, as though I can get away from this conversation.
“Gabe.”
The sound of my name in his voice, almost pleading, cracks something in me. I swallow hard, throat dry. I can’t look at him right now.
“It would only be for a little while,” he adds. “A few months. Until the gym stabilizes.”
“Right.” My voice is thin.
“It could be a good thing…” He says slowly. “For both of you. He’s been away so long. I’m sure he’d be happy hanging out with someone he knows, you two always got along and… you’ve been spending too much time alone lately. Haven’t done much in the store since…”
Since I showed up at Aiden’s door with tears and blood streaming down my face in the middle of the night last year.
I wince at the memory and at his words. He doesn’t mean it unkindly—Aiden rarely says anything to hurt, never to me. He’s just blunt. But the truth still digs under my skin. My lip trembles, and I bite it to keep the emotions in.
I had such big plans for the store when I bought it three years ago. After our parents passed away abruptly in a car accident, I swore I’d use my inheritance to make them proud. I wanted to host events and make a safe space for the queer community here.
They wouldn’t be proud of how I’ve been living. I hosted a few events when I first took over, and they did really well, but that was before…
Events mean crowds. Crowds mean eyes and questions. So, I stopped.
“I can’t believe you bought that bookshop, it was bad enough when you worked there. What makes you think you can run a business? You’re so fucking stupid.”
That voice snakes into my mind. I push the memory away and force a deep breath.
“I don’t—” I start, then stop because I’m not really sure what to say. My fingers won’t stop shaking. I press them to the edge of the counter to still them.
It’s not that I don’t want to help. Of course I do. But the idea of someone else—a man I haven’t seen this last year—filling my space, makes my skin prickle with unease. Not because it’s Noah. Because it’s anyone. Because I don’t know how to trust anymore.
I used to be open. Always shy, yes, but I loved going out, meeting new people. Kyle stripped that out of me so slowly I didn’t even notice until it was gone.
I was a sketch he could erase and redraw until nothing of me was left but the lines he wanted. He made himself the only voice I listened to.
“I’m not saying you have to do this,” Aiden says softly, bringing me out of my thoughts. “You don’t, if you’re not up for it. But he really does need a place. And you…”
He trails off, the words hanging in the air.
