I nod, expecting him to grab a cloth, but what he does is so much better. He lies down on his stomach and lifts my ass with strong hands, cradling me like I’m his last meal as he leans in and licks right over my softened, cum-soaked hole.
My hands find his hair, and I pull him closer roughly, whimpering, whining, groaning. Everything falling from my lips is incoherent, but all means one thing: I love this sweet, filthy man with all my heart, and I’ll never let him go.
I cry out, in shock, in pleasure, when he closes his lips over my rim and sucks hard, pulling his release from my body right into his mouth. When he lifts up, he looks an absolute mess, hair wild, eyes black.
He leans over me, his thumb hooking my lower lip, gently opening my mouth. I don’t need much encouragement; I open wide. And even though I know it’s coming, I nearly pass out with how dirty it is as he spits his cum into my mouth. Both of usgroan loudly before he seals his mouth over mine, tongue sliding as we share the taste of his release.
My hands fist his hair, holding him to me.
When he pulls back, I can’t look away from his face. The intensity in his gaze makes me feel powerful, beautiful, and wanted beyond anything I’ve ever known. My body still feels stretched, the lingering warmth of him inside me settling deep. He lies beside me with a satisfied sigh as I cuddle into him.
“You okay?” he asks softly.
I nod against his chest, still catching my breath. “More than okay. That was amazing. I’ve never…” My voice falters. I press closer. “I’ve never felt anything like that. Thank you for giving me that.”
He kisses my head, his laugh a little shaky. “Neither have I.” His hand strokes my back soothingly. “I should be the one thanking you for trusting me, for giving yourself to me like that. I want you to know how much it means to me. I won’t ever take it for granted.”
I believe every word. I bite my lip, overwhelmed by how much this evening meant—I feel like I own my body again. I control it, I make the choices.
“I liked that,” I admit quietly, tracing circles on his chest. “Watching us in the mirror… and, um, what you did after.”
His chuckle is a pleased rumble. “Liked? Baby, I’ll never get that image out of my head.”
When I glance back at the mirror, I don’t see someone broken or scared.
I see myself—flushed, in love, alive—and the man holding me like he’ll never let me go.
54
NOAH
4 months later - February
Evergreen Books is packed.
Gabe and Ciarán have gone all out—fairy lights loop between shelves, jars of wildflowers explode in color on every surface. The front window has a string of tiny green hearts draped over the new carvedEvergreen Bookssign sitting alongside the tiny town.
On a side table, platters of Italian finger food are lined up. Theo’s already digging into the cannoli and has powdered sugar on his black shirt. Abbie and Aiden are chatting by the nook. Ciarán has Rose on his hip as he talks to the author, pointing around the space.
I look around and spot Gabe. He’s near the front of the store in a soft green shirt, sleeves rolled, head thrown back in laughter as he talks to a group of people.
The event was phenomenal. Gabe spoke so confidently, smiling the entire time. He panicked last night. This is the most high-profile event he’s done, the biggest turnout of people in his safe space. And while he’s made huge improvements over the last four months in going out more, he still gets anxious whentoo many people are close. I thought he was on a downward spiral last night, but then he journaled for a while and practiced the grounding techniques he’s learned in therapy. He was still a bit shaky going to bed, but we lay there talking for an hour before going to sleep, and I could see the excitement come back to his eyes.
When he moves away from the group, I approach him, slip my hand around his waist, and kiss his cheek. The warmth of it settles on my lips.
“You good, baby?”
“Yeah, that went great. I’m relieved. You having fun?”
“Yeah, it was amazing. Me, Theo, and Aiden were talking about going to a game soon. Probably be gone for a night, that okay with you?”
I went to a game with Aiden last month, but we came back that night. I spent the whole time away worrying about Gabe. Unnecessarily, he was completely fine, but I still hate going too far. I know it’s not healthy to cling to him, and it’s something I’m working on.
He shakes his head, smiling. “You don’t need to ask permission to go. I want you to be able to have fun without worrying about me.”
I pull him closer and press a kiss to his lips. “I’ll always worry about you. I love you.”
His eyes soften, and he brings his hand up to play with the hair at the back of my head. I feel my eyes get heavy-lidded. Something so simple always feels so good when he does it. “I know, I love you too. I’ll miss you every second you’re gone, but you should still go. I know how much your friendships with Theo and Aiden mean to you,” he says gently.
