She packs some containers into her tote and gives me a hug. “I better go, need to check on C, then fly home to finish packing.”
“Where is the little nightmare anyway?” Aiden asks, and I shoot him a look. At least he has the sense to look guilty over the comment.
“He gets migraines,” I say, walking toward him and Noah. “Has a really bad one, hasn’t left the house since yesterday. Me and Noah checked on him last night, but he texted this morning saying it’s the same today.”
“Abbie, can you take some food for Ciarán too?” Noah asks, standing up beside me and stretching before placing a hand on the back of my neck. I love how much he cares about my friends.Ourfriends.
Abbie nods, grabbing an extra container.
“Oh shit. Well, hope he’s okay then,” my brother mutters, brows furrowed. I can’t really tell if he means it or if he feels like he has to say it. “I’m gonna head off too, got stuff to sort.” He stands quickly and gives Noah a clap on the shoulder, then turns to me for a hug. It makes me smile, we never really hugged before, but since I told him about therapy, he takes one any chance he gets.
We walk them to the door, saying our goodbyes. The second it’s closed, I push Noah up against it. “Hi,” I breathe onto his lips.
“Hi,” he chuckles, his warm breath puffing against my lips.
I bring my mouth to his and kiss him greedily. I love Abbie and Aiden, but I thought they’d never leave. I’ve been dying to get Noah alone. He groans, parting his lips and giving me access. My tongue sweeps into his mouth, finding his as I grind my erection against his quickly thickening one.
“I’ve been thinking,” I say as I drag my mouth along his jaw.
He hums, and I feel the vibration against my lips as I press hot open-mouthed kisses to his throat. “Oh yeah? About what?” A thousand answers sit in my throat—the sound of his laugh, the heat of his hand in mine, the way he looks at me like I’m worthit. How much I love him. How I’m never going to let him go. But what I say is, “About how much I want you.”
His breath catches, eyes darkening with a sultry smirk on his lips. “You wanna fuck me, baby?”
I shake my head slowly, sounding braver than I feel. “I… I want you to fuck me.”
Noah freezes, eyes flicking between mine, checking to see if I really said that, and I did. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. His expression shifts, heat flooding his gaze, his voice rough. “Fuck, Gabe.”
I see the apprehension in his eyes, though, and it calms me instead of scaring me. Noah would never take something not offered; it’s important to him that I want everything that happens between us.
I’ve talked about this with Dr. Keane—how wanting something doesn’t mean losing control, how I’m allowed to choose touch instead of fearing it.
This isn’t about proving I’m over anything, it’s about trusting myself again.
I want Noah in every way. I want to make new memories with him—the kind that start with my choice, my voice.
I reach up, cup the back of his neck, and tug him closer until our mouths brush. “I mean it. But… I think I need to be the one guiding it. I need to know what it feels like when everything that happens between us starts with my choice.”
My pulse is fast, but not from panic. It feels alive, warm beneath my skin. I remind myself—this is my body, my choice.
“Baby, I only want that if you really feel ready. But you know I don’t need that from you, right?”
The love I feel for this man is endless. Every day it grows.
“I know. But I think I need it. I don’t want to focus on what was done to me before. I want to remember this instead—something good, something that’s mine.Ours. I want you to be the memories that stay.”
It’s a telling confession, a tremor running through me as I say it.
“You know I’ll give you anything you want.” He kisses me sweetly, his hands coming up to cradle my jaw.
I take a centering breath, then say, “Good, because I want to ride you.”
He groans as his head drops back, hitting the wall with a dull thud, like the words are too much for him to even hear. His hands grip my waist, pulling me closer, letting me feel how hard he is. I take his hand and bring him to our bedroom. I kiss him again and when we break apart, both of us breathing hard, he rests his forehead against mine.
“Gabe, you’re so strong, so brave. I don’t even have the words to describe how grateful I feel that you want me.”
I brush my nose along his. “You’re all I want. I’ve been thinking about this for so long.”
Noah makes a gruff noise of pleasure, then kisses me until my head spins, until I forget what air is supposed to feel like in my lungs. When his mouth finally breaks away, his hand slides under my shirt, warm against my skin.
