I swallow hard, bile rising at the thought. “I feel like if I leave him alone, something will happen again.”
“Do you think that’s what he wants?”
I wince. “No. I don’t.”
I truly don’t. I see how hard he’s working on himself. I know he doesn’t want to be in a position like that again. But I’m still afraid. I know he didn’t consciously make the decision before to go to the lake, so what if something like that happens again?
“Then talk to him about it,” Theo murmurs. “Tell him you’re scared. Let him see it.”
“That’s the thing,” I whisper. “I don’t want him to feel guilty.”
“Let me tell you something,” he says seriously, making me sit straighter. “People who’ve been that far into the darkness? They don’t break when you show them your fear. They break when you hide things like that from them, because then they feel like they’re fragile, feel like they have to tiptoe around everyone.”
My brows crease. I don’t want to treat Gabe like he’s fragile; he’s the strongest person I know.
“He loves you,” Theo continues. “That means he’s allowed to see you in every way, even scared. It’s not his fault you’re hurting. It’s… a byproduct of loving someone who has struggles.”
I know Theo’s right. Gabe loves me as I love him. I’m allowed to be scared where he can see it. I’m allowed to say I’m afraid of losing you without it sounding like blame. I’m allowed to let him know that loving him changed me—it left marks I carry, and I need him to carry them with me. Just as I’ll carry whatever he needs me to.
We’re in this together.
“You’re right,” I say quietly.
Theo stands, rounding the table, and raises his hand, indicating he wants me to stand too. I do, slightly confused as to where this is going, when he throws an arm around me and pulls me into a crushing hug.
“Let other people hold you up, too,” he says. “Not just him. You’re both amazing men. Youbothdeserve support.”
I lean back to look at him. His face is open, no walls, no sarcasm, no distance. Just honesty. A friend being there for another friend. Not shifting away from the uncomfortable.
“You’re not alone in this, Noah.”
My eyes burn. I nod, swallowing around the lump in my throat. “Thank you, Theo.”
This is what I never found in the city, what I always searched for. People who care about me beyond a laugh, beyond only the lighter moments of life.
He gives my back a light clap before stepping back. “Anytime.”
“Seriously. You’ve no idea how much I appreciate your friendship,” I mumble, feeling emotional.
“I’m always here to talk. About anything.”
I just bob my head, hoping I don’t turn into a blubbering mess.
He smiles, bumping my shoulder with his fist. “Come on, let’s get back out there, and you can help me re-rack everything before I have to leave for my next appointment. I don’t want the owner badmouthing me.”
I laugh, feeling so much gratitude toward him as we make our way back to the gym floor, grabbing the plates.
“It’s the last Oreo…” I look at Gabe, giving him my biggest puppy eyes. I mean, if he wants it, he can have it, but he did say he’d share his last one with me, so…
We’re leaning on opposite sides of the island the following week, the pack of Oreos, with one lonely survivor, sitting between us.
“Hm. That’s interesting. I wonder who should have it,” he muses with a twinkle in his eye.
“Well,” I start, bracing my elbows on the counter. “There were several when we went to bed last night. So, I’m guessing you’ve already had some.”
He narrows his eyes playfully at me. “Are you monitoring my cookie intake?”
I huff a laugh. “No, I’m just being observant.”
