Before he can say anything else, I hop up and jog to the bathroom. My ass does hurt a bit, but I’m not worried; he prepped me well, and I’ll enjoy the reminder in the morning. I feel giddy, I can’t believe I get to have this. Fifteen-year-old Noah would probably die of excitement if he knew what the future held.
I clean myself quickly in the bathroom and grab two washcloths, running them under warm water. When I head back into the room, Gabe is sitting on the edge of the bed, those green eyes showing an open vulnerability. I bend to kiss his lips gently. He has a dazed look in his eyes.
I kneel in front of him, he’s still wearing the condom, which makes me chuckle. I move to take it off him, and his face flushes,“Oh, god. That’s embarrassing,” he mutters. “Sorry, I got stuck in my head.”
“That’s okay, and there’s no need to be embarrassed. It’s just me and you,” I murmur as I tie it off and throw it in the trashcan beside his bed. “All good?”
Those wide eyes twinkle as the corner of his lip ticks up, and he nods.
I clean his stomach slowly, making sure I get everything. He squirms like he always does, but I see the pleased look on his face. I think this is something we both need, me caring for him and him being cared for like this.
He blows out a breath. “Yeah, that was—” He shakes his head and gives me a smile, brushing his fingers over my cheek and threading them through my hair. “Everything I’ve always wanted. I don’t just mean the sex, I mean the…” He swallows roughly. “Connection. The trust.”
And there it is—the love I already knew was there, written in the green of his eyes, in the way he touches my face like he needs me as much as I need him. We haven’t said it, but I feel it, and I know he does, too, even if it scares him. I lean in, press my face to his chest, and hold onto him.
When we climb into bed, we’re on our sides, face-to-face. Gabe holds me tight to him.
I press a kiss to his collarbone and whisper, “You’re my home, you know that?”
His chest rises under my touch, a soft hum rumbling from him as his fingers stroke my hair. “Yeah, Blue,” he whispers. “You’re mine, too.”
40
NOAH
I wake to the bed shaking. Gabe is bouncing beside me. Literally.
I crack open one eye and see him kneeling at the edge of the mattress, grinning. His waves are wild from sleep, cheeks flushed, phone clutched in his hand like a trophy. We fell asleep curled up together after last night, and waking up to him like this feels like a dream I never want to end.
“Guess what?”
“You’re too excited for six a.m.,” I mutter, but I’m already smiling.
“It’s seven.” He laughs, then flops beside me and shoves his phone in my face.
If it’s another article about homemade tea blends, I might propose on the spot.
I blink, focusing on his phone, it’s an email from Wild Fern.
Hi Gabe,
So glad to hear from you.
We have multiple authors that are looking to hold events soon.
We want to highlight Queer joy in the community, and Evergreen Books would be a perfect partner.
Send me your availability and we can work together.
I sit up quickly. “Gabe, this is amazing. It sounds like you might get multiple events from this.”
“I know!” He's practically vibrating. I swear he could power the entire bookstore with the energy he’s giving off. His excitement lights every inch of him, making him glow. Seeing Gabe so alive, so bright, hits me hard. There’s something breathtaking about witnessing his joy, it's like I'm seeing him finally standing in a place that once felt unreachable.
“That’s incredible,” I say, leaning over to kiss his cheek. “You deserve this, baby. You’ve worked so hard.”
He launches into ideas before I can even rub the sleep from my eyes. His hands move wildly as he talks, expressive and eager and beautiful.
I pull him into my lap and kiss him, making him beam. “I’m gonna do it. I’m really gonna do it.” His smile wobbles, and tears stream down his flushed cheeks. I hold him tighter and kiss his temple while murmuring, “Yeah, you are. You’re amazing. I’m so proud of you.”
