38
GABE
I want him.
More than I’ve ever wanted anything.
When we reach the apartment door, I unlock it with trembling fingers. The space feels different tonight—there’s an electric current in the air. Goosebumps erupt over my skin, all the fine hairs standing on end.
Noah steps in after me, brushing a hand along my back as he passes. The simple touch sends a shiver down my spine. I close the door and turn to face him. He’s already watching me, a heated, questioning look in his eyes, like he’s waiting for a sign.
I lean in, and when his lips brush mine, it’s not just a kiss. It’s a promise. And I let myself answer it with everything I have. When we eventually pull apart, it’s not by much, our chests stay pressed together, his thumb strokes along my jaw, and for a moment, I think he might say something. His mouth opens and closes, but nothing comes.
His fingers trail down my neck, and the noise of the world fades until there’s only him—his heartbeat, his warmth, his breath mingling with mine.
“Bed,” I whisper.
“Bed,” he replies.
And then his lips are on me again. My fingers find his jaw, tracing the faint stubble there, the dip of his throat, the steady thrum of his pulse beneath my thumb.
Noah’s hands slide up my sides, rough palms meeting the soft fabric of my shirt. His touch makes me tremble. He’s always been sure of himself, confident—but there’s a tremor in him now that mirrors my own.
We move together without speaking, finding our way in the darkness. I let him walk me backward until my legs reach the edge of my bed, stopping before we topple. My whole universe is the warmth of his body pressed against mine and the heat burning within me that won’t stop growing whenever he’s near.
He steps back to look at me—eyes dark, pupils blown wide, and full of something that steals my breath. “Baby,” he groans through a panting breath.
I run my palms over his chest, eyeing the bulge in his jeans. My own cock is painfully hard at his proximity, the feeling of him this close igniting a fire in me. “Yeah, Blue?”
His head falls back, letting out a contented sigh as he drags my hips to meet his. When his eyes return to mine, they’re black, blazing want staring back at me. It makes me struggle to breathe.
He bites his lip, sliding one hand down my front to palm my cock through my pants. I whimper as he feels how hard I am for him.
His eyes search mine. “Do you wanna fuck me?”
The words shock me. My mouth pops open, and I stare at him. His eyes stay on mine.
All I can think about is how it felt to rim him—how he clenched around my fingers when he came. That was only last week. He’sasked me to finger him again since then, and I did while sucking his cock. It was just as hot the second time.
I still can’t believe he wants me to fuck him, but what’s more shocking is how much Iwantto.
Just as I’m about to agree, my courage wavers. My eyes drop to his chest. I have no idea what I’m doing. What if I do something wrong? What if I hurt him?
“Hey.” Warm fingers tip my chin up so I’m looking at him. “It’s okay if you don’t want that. We don’t ever have to have that kind of sex.”
I know what he’s saying—he doesn’t expect me to bottom for him, and if I don’t want to top him, he’ll accept that too.
“What if I can’t…” I force the words out through an audible swallow. “What if I can’t ever give you that?”
His eyes hold so much understanding. Acceptance of me, exactly how I am.
“Gabe, it’s you I want. I want to watch movies together. I want you to read to me in bed. I want to hold your hand. I want to be there for you—to take care of you. All the sex stuff? That doesn’t really matter. If you tell me tomorrow you never want that again…” He shrugs and kisses my cheek sweetly. “I’ll still be happy just to be with you.”
I duck my head to hide the tears coming. I’ve already cried enough tonight, but they’re like me and Noah—inevitable.
He wants to give me something this important, something he’s never given anyone before. He trusts me enough to share that.
I bring my eyes back to his. “I want to fuck you, Noah.”
