The last week has gone by in a blur of morning runs, shared breakfasts, and movie marathons. I can’t say everything is perfect, I still have the odd nightmare, and my anxiety gets the better of me at times, but things have been improving.
Now Noah’s been grinning for an hour. Not his usual teasing grin. There’s something secretive about it, excited energy emanating from him. It’s making me anxious.
He came home earlier than usual—changed into jeans and a nice top—and came back down to the store to stay with me until closing. It’s nice having company, but I get the feeling he’s gearing up to tell me something.
“You’re unnerving when you smile like that,” I say as I tidy up the last few shelves. I try to keep my tone casual, but apprehension is growing inside me.
“We’ve got plans.” His tone is matter-of-fact. But I can see now that beneath the excitement, there’s a thread of nerves, and it only feeds my own.
“Plans,” I echo, heart thudding so hard I feel a little faint.
“Well… you said yes to going on a date. And it’s happening now.” His smile widens, but it doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Get your coat.”
My stomach knots. Date. The word comes with too many mixed emotions. My brain starts listing possibilities faster than I can breathe—restaurant, café, movie theatre, somewhere loud, somewhere with too many people.
He tilts his head at me. “Please?”
I look into his eyes, the ones I’ve grown to love so much, and take a centering breath. I can do this. I’ve gone to brunch and lunch multiple times over the last few months, and nothing awful has happened.
And I want to go on a date with Noah, a lot of dates. I’m so sick of my past threatening what’s growing between us.
Noah must read everything on my face because he steps closer to me and brushes his nose against mine. “No crowds. No strangers. Just you and me. I promise.”
My heart’s in my throat, but I nod anyway. “Okay.”
We walk through Willowrun just as the sun starts its descent. The air smells like wet leaves. My coat feels too hot, the fabric irritating my arms. My heart won’t slow down. Every breath I take shakes, making me feel off-kilter and jittery.
I keep telling myself to relax, we’re just walking. We haven’t even gone anywhere yet, and my insides are already a mess. Noah said it would just be us, so there’s no need to panic. If only knowing that was enough to calm me down.
I shove my hands into my pockets, fists clenched tightly, until Noah’s knuckles brush mine through the fabric. Then he does it again, patiently looking for my hand.
I give in to the urge and take my hand out of my pocket, slipping my fingers between his. My hand is clammy in his cool one. I go to take it back, but he squeezes gently. His thumb strokes slow circles over the back, soothing me.
“Feeling okay?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah,” I say, because it’s feeling more true now that I have his hand in mine.
We keep walking. He talks about a guy at the gym almost dropping a dumbbell on his foot, and I nod when I’m supposed to. I want to listen, I want to know about his day and everything he says, but my mind is spinning. Where are we going?
When the bookstore comes into view, I hesitate before asking, “We’re… coming back?”
“Yep,” he says with a crooked grin.
“That’s the date?”
I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed.
Noah winks and unlocks the door. His warm palm at the small of my back guides me inside.
The comforting smell of the store hits me, it’s the same, but different—paper, lavender, and something warm underneath. Food.
When we reach the nook, I stop in my tracks. My heart is thundering now for entirely different reasons.
Fairy lights spill a golden glow over the shelves leading to it. A table sits where the seats normally are, draped in linen, set for two. Plates, silverware, little dishes of focaccia, grilled vegetables, prosciutto, and olives. A bottle of my favorite red wine is waiting, left open to breathe. Low music is playing in the background.
My throat closes up. I stand frozen, staring at the scene in front of me. The bridge of my nose stings, and my eyes well.
“How?” I whisper, my voice coming out with an unsteady tremble.
