“We were totally at cross purposes. I wish I could replay the conversation. He stared at me, and he looked stunned, sick. And then… What else did he say? ‘You might not be able to respect me… It’s on me.’ He said if the truth got out it would break Grace’s heart—literally kill her. He wasn’t meaning an affair withVivien. He meant an affair with my aunt, decades ago. Mymother.”
“That’s a lot to compute.”
“But then, it also makes sense. All my life, it’s been Vivien and me against the world. And she was so crazy protective of me when we were kids. I’m not even sure when Brenda died. There are baby photos of me in the commune, so I must have been very young, but Vivien would have been … two? Three? God, I need to see my parents. I mean my… Shit.”
“Let’s go up there.”
“It’s an epic journey—a full-day commitment, even if you get a flight into Spokane.”
“I wasn’t thinking a commercial airline.”
“You want todrive?”
“No, not driving. Before you say no…” He held up a hand. “My parents and I have shares in a private jet. We need to use it a certain number of days a year to justify the cost. We’re talking a couple of hours, max.”
“You’re telling me it’s financially illogicalnotto take your private plane to visit my parents.”
“I’m saying that it’s not enough of a big deal that we should have an extensive conversation about the pros and cons.”
“I don’t know, Griffin. That’s … a lot.”
“Lana, of all the dilemmas you and I could face, money is the one that shouldn’t even feature. It would be like if you had more books than you could count…”
“Which I do.”
“… and I needed a single book, but instead of reading one of your books, which you’d be happy to give me and never miss, I stubbornly bought my own copy. Please can we not make this an issue?”
“A private jet and a … secondhand book?”
“Please, Lana. Do it for Vivien. This could help.”
Oh, her life right now. A Hollywood star was begging to whisk her away on his jet. What was stopping her? Pride? Fear of looking like a freeloader? She thought about Estelle’s comment on Griffin’s hero complex. Was that driving all this, for him?
But she really, really wanted to see her parents. Shehadto see her parents. Even if she got a message to them to call her, it wasn’t a discussion to have over the payphone at the Cedarwood Falls gas station.
She took an expansive breath. “Griffin, that would be amazing. Thank you—really.”
He squeezed her shoulder and smiled that wide smile that sucked in your heart.
Griffin
Griffin was on edge as they left for Van Nuys under the midday sun, with his father driving and Estelle’s revelations echoingthrough his head:Your parents refused to pay, so they followed through on their threat. Lana wasn’t the only one due a frank discussion with the folks.
He and Lana sat in the back, where the tinted windows of the G-Wagon shielded them from the paps’ cameras. He waited until they were on the 405 to broach the subject. As he related Estelle’s story about the extortion ring and his own inadvertent part in it, his father hunched over the steering wheel.
“Is it true, Dad? Did you get blackmailed?”
“You gotta understand, Griff, we figured it would get out anyway—something that big. And we thought it might be a useful lesson. Scare you straight.”
“You don’t think watching my best friend die was scary enough?” Griffin felt a touch on his hand, where it rested on the seat beside him. Lana, reaching out. He gratefully linked his fingers with hers.
“Immediately afterward, you put on this blank face,” his father said. “Nothing we said or did seemed to get through. You didn’t want to talk about it, you didn’t want to accept responsibility. I’m not talking about Ethan’s death—that wasn’t your fault. I’m talking aboutyourdrug use.”
“You didn’t know what was going on in my head.”
“I tried to talk to you about what was going on in your head—you shut me out!”
“That wasn’t me not accepting responsibility! That was me buckling under the weight!”
