“I’d still take fans over paps any day. At least the fans are genuine. Even the crazy ones are genuinely crazy. Paps are just out to make a buck any way they can.”
Darnell braked heavily, swinging Lana forward. Her seatbelt snapped taut, and the car shuddered to a stop behind a car. A red light.
“Paps will do anything to get a reaction,” Darnell said. “Shout all kinds of shit to get under your skin. Chase you on motorbikes, force you off the road, hoping you’ll go full road rage.”
“That happens?” Lana asked.
“Oh yeah,” Griffin said. “Just after I got my license, a bunch of paps surrounded me and jumped on my car. Couldn’t see a damn thing because of the camera flashes.”
“That when you ran over that photographer’s foot?” Darnell said.
“Not intentionally—he put it there! And then he threatened to sue and I had to pay him off. He’s still one of my regulars, always trying to get a rise out of me. I see his ratty red face everywhere.”
“Do you get that too, Darnell?” Lana asked.
Darnell stomped on the accelerator, flinging Lana back. “I’ve had my moments, but people don’t hassle me like they hassle Griffin. Our friend here is what they call uber-famous.”
“They don’t call me that.”
“Elvis, Marilyn, Liz Taylor, Michael Jackson, Oprah, Griffin Hart. Rest of us can walk down the street without people going ape-shit—a few cameras maybe, but nothing death-defying. Plus, you might have heard that Griffin’s an asshole, so he deserves all the trolling he gets.”
“Thanks, D.”
“It’s tougher on this generation. Me and my buddies? We got up to some crazy stuff in the day, of which there is no documentary evidence. Any of it would be career-ending today. But Griffin here? He’s been photographed and videotaped all his life. You could probably string together uninterrupted footage from the internet of every moment he’s spent in public since the blessed day he was born.”
“In case you’re still wondering why I don’t get out much,” Griffin said.
“But that’s your problem, son. You don’t go outenough. Simple economics—the less you go out, the more demand there is for photos.” Darnell blasted the horn at a delivery truck driver who was contemplating double parking. The traffic wasthickening, confining Darnell. The SUV was sticking to their wake. “See, everyone knows I swim at the one beach, right? Every morning for decades. So no one cares anymore. Someone takes a picture of me in my Speedos and it’s worthless, ’coz those photos are everywhere. I lowered my own novelty value by over-exposing myself.”
“Literally,” Griffin said.
“I know you’re in a different category, but I’m telling you your only way out of this is to be a hundred percent visible. Walk around naked every day, and people will get so used to seeing your junk that they don’t even look anymore.”
“Yeah, that’s not me.”
“You’re right—not sure people would tire of seeing your junk. Remember when you went undercover at Coachella?”
“Oh man, don’t tell Lana that.”
“Everyone knows that story!”
“Lana might be the one exception.”
“Either you can tell me, or I can google it later,” she said.
“Come on, come on, stay green for papa,” Darnell muttered as they crawled to a set of lights. “Couple more minutes and we’re there.”
“I wore a Big Bird suit, okay?” Griffin said. “And for a few hours, it was the bomb, though I was sweating like a walking Jacuzzi. Everyone still wanted selfies, but no one knew it was me! My security team were in plain clothes, and they thought it was hilarious. But then I had to take off the head to fit into the porta-potty, and when I came out, there were cameraseverywhere.”
“So, if you’re thinking about getting mixed up with this guy, you best be prepared for some crazy shit.”
“It’s not like that, Darnell.”
Griffin’s flat tone and the speed of his clarification were a little humbling for Lana. For no good reason. Even if somethingwas happening, it didn’t take a relationship therapist to see their lives were incompatible.
“Yeah, okay.” Again, Darnell sounded dubious. Lana wished she could ask him why. He obviously knew Griffin well. What vibe was he picking up? Did she want there to be a vibe?
They fell silent as they drew up to the looming gray bulk of the convention center. Darnell grabbed a black cap from the back seat and pulled it on. Next to the building was aGods and Mortalsbillboard with a gigantic, half-naked Griffin Hart on it.
