Because there’s something I haven’t said. Something I didn’t think I’d ever have to say out loud.
“I don’t think the Defenders contract is coming back,” I say finally. My voice stays steady even as something breaks loose behind my ribs. “And I don’t want to pretend it is.”
Liam’s jaw tightens. Erin goes still. Mom doesn’t interrupt.
I swallow.
“I applied to MIT last fall,” I say. “It wasn’t a plan. I just wanted to see if I could do it, if there was more to me than hockey.”
A beat.
“I didn’t expect to get in.”
Silence lands heavy.
“I got accepted,” I finish quietly. “Mechanical engineering.”
My heart pounds so hard I can hear it in my ears. I’ve been holding this in for weeks—a possibility that didn’t feel real. And now it’s out. Terrifying. Mine.
The table stills, breath held.
Sophie’s eyes go wide. Erin’s mouth parts. Dmitri straightens. Luka mutters, “Holy shit,” and immediately gets elbowed by his boyfriend.
Liam stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. “You got into MIT? MIT-MIT?”
“Yeah.” My throat tightens. “Full ride.”
Mom’s hand flies to her mouth. Her gaze shines, pride first, then confusion, then something deeper.
“Honey,” she whispers, “why didn’t you tell us?”
I shrug, helpless. “I didn’t know what it meant yet. Or if it mattered, because I thought I was?—”
“Going pro,” Liam finishes for me quietly.
I nod.
He leans back, stunned. “Kie…that’s huge. That’s life-changing.”
Sophie nudges him. “Translation: he’s proud of you but his vocabulary is temporarily offline.”
Mom squeezes my arm, firm. “Kieran, this is terrific. But are you?—”
She stops. Because she doesn’t need to finish.
I meet her gaze. Then Liam’s.
“I’m sure,” I say.
A small silence ripples outward.
Liam recovers first, studying me carefully. “Is this because of Wren?” he asks. “Because punishing yourself won’t fix anything. There are other teams. The Defenders aren’t the only option.”
“No.” I shake my head. Steady. “This isn’t punishment. It’s a choice.”
I hesitate, then add, “But Wren was the first person who saw past hockey. She saw the part of me I didn’t know how to name yet and didn’t laugh.”
Understanding settles across Liam’s face.
