“Kieran?” Liam’s voice. Low. Careful.
I drag my palm over my face, rain and something heavier I can’t name.
“I’m coming,” I manage.
Inside, the applause is fading, the hall buzzing with after-show energy. People are celebrating. Laughing. Taking photos.
And I’m walking back, a part of myself left on the subway stairs.
Liam falls into step beside me without saying a word.
Every breath feels wrong. Because all I can think is,I don’t deserve her.
But God, I want to be the man who does.
Radio City backstageis another planet—concrete corridors, velvet ropes, crates of equipment, bouquets of roses waiting for pickup. Crew members weave around us, adrenaline humming.
Erin comes out first, radiant and flushed, still vibrating from the stage. Luka Havran follows close behind, hair wild, riding the high. He spots Dmitri, and a grin splits his face.
“Medo!” Luka throws his arms wide. “You did not glare at me during the performance. This is progress.”
Dmitri doesn’t even blink. “Only because your boyfriend was sitting between us.”
Luka freezes mid-stride, then slaps a hand over hisheart, theatrically staggering back. “Ah, yes. The great reveal that saved my life.”
A tall, handsome man slides in behind him, looping an arm around Luka’s waist with an indulgent eye-roll.
Dmitri arches a brow. “Tell me, Havran, do you ever plan to inform the front row that you are gay? Or should I help you with the coming out?”
Luka gasps, scandalized. “And ruin the fantasy? Absolutely not. They scream louder when I wink.”
Dmitri snorts. Luka beams. “The show must go on.”
Their banter fills the whole corridor with warmth, reminding me how good people hold onto their joy.
And how far I’ve drifted from mine.
Erin leans into Dmitri, her hand on his chest, and he folds his arm around her waist automatically, soft and possessive at once. Mom fusses with Erin’s hair, telling her she was transcendent. Sophie and Liam hover close, glowing with pride.
Everyone is laughing.
Except me.
I stand back, pretending to examine a stack of speakers, pretending I’m not holding myself together with wire and hope.
Erin scans the group. Her gaze lands on me. “Did Wren show?” she asks, trying for neutral. Failing miserably.
The whole group goes still.
Sophie stops smiling. Liam’s jaw ticks. Dmitri’s hand flexes at Erin’s waist. Mom’s eyebrows crease, her face full of quiet, maternal worry.
I force the words out. “She was here.” Erin raises an eyebrow. “But…she left right after the show.”
Mom steps forward slightly. “Oh, baby boy,” she murmurs, soft, sad, seeing everything I didn’t say.
I look away because I already know what every single one of them is thinking.
This is my fault.
