Where are you, Cat? We are definitely in need of the smarter half of this operation.
“Well then,” he said. “Let’s have a look, shall we?”
My heart started to thump like a bunny rabbit bouncing.
Ominous, considering the first thing he saw when he opened the door was Cat’s bunny lingerie hanging up.
He shot me a seriously confused look as he tapped the clothing with the eraser end of his pencil. “And when, exactly, do you get dressed up in this?”
I was done playing Mr. Nice Guy here.
If Mr. Winterborne didn’t want to play things by the book, then so be it.
I wasn’t going to play by the book either.
I stepped toward him, and, realizing I still didn’t have a shirt on, I gave him a crazed smile.
“Do you ever get horny, Mr. Winterborne?”
“Beg your pardon?”
“I said, do you ever get ... horny? And get an urge to do something, well, wild?”
“Well, I never! This is inappropriate.”
“Inappropriate? You come into my house ... digging around in my closet. And you want to tell meI’mthe inappropriate one?”
He swallowed and nervously grabbed the corner of his mustache.
I lowered my voice to a whisper. “The reason I ask, sir, is that I get horny. I do. I get very horny. And you know what I like?”
“What?” he asked, and I saw a bead of sweat forming on his forehead.
“I like to get dressed up in this lingerie bunny suit here and go hopping around the house like Peter goddamn Rabbit. It’s a rush. My wife gets into it too. It’s goddamn liberating if I do say so myself.”
He swallowed hard. I reached into the closet and took the suit out, then placed it against my body. “Wanna see?” I wiggled my eyebrows and added a little hip swivel like I had a tail.
“Uh, no, I uh, no thank you,” he said and pulled out a handkerchief to pat his forehead.
“You sure?” I grinned. “It’s liberating. Oh man, is it liberating. And Cat—” I ran a hand through my hair. “She just gets me. She likes that kind of thing. She’s into the same kinky shit I am, Doc.”
“I’m, uh, not a doctor.”
I took a step closer to him and clenched my jaw, offering him a borderline insane smile. “I know, I just feel like I’m getting all psychological on you, so ‘doc’ seemed appropriate. Doc.”
The front door opened, and we heard Cat’s voice.
“Mmm, it smells so good,” Cat said. “Dustin, honey, are you there?”
“Guess we better go have dinner,” I said.
“Guess so.”
She saw me. “Where’s your shirt?” was the first thing she asked. But she still put her hands on my abs like she was about to start kissing me when she went practically cross-eyed, seeing who was being me.
“Uh, Mr. Winterborne? What is going on? Is everything alright?”
“It’s fine. I’m just?—”
