I gritted my teeth and stared at my phone as we inched down the gridlock on Halsted Street. Why was my wifenot answering my texts?
The last text from her might have had me worried if I’d been a cheating fuck, which I wasn’t. After we tied the knot, I summarily blocked all the girls who liked to text me late at night. Who would even be able to get into my house? Only a couple close friends even had the key.
My stomach coiled, and realization shot through me when I saw a billboard for The Jennifer Lopez concert tonight.
Jenny.
I thought I made it clear we were just friends. But she did like to do some odd stuff.
I checked my last text from her—which I hadn’t responded to because my mind had been on hockey all week.
Jenny: hey hotsauce, just wondering if your place is clean or if it could use a drop by?
I texted her back frantically. I thought I’d made things clear to Jenny that I was, you know,marriednow.
Dustin: The place is perfectly clean! No need. Thanks, though!
The read receipt did not come through to my phone. Five minutes later, I was in front of my house. I noted the lights were on from outside, and as I walked in, I heard multiple voices, male and female. Leaving my things in the front room, I strolled past the kitchen to the source of the sound in the back living room.
I came upon a scene in the back of two frat boys, my good friend Jenny, and Cat squeezed together on a couch drinking wine. Not the scene I was expecting—or wanting—to come home to, after a ten-day west coast road trip.
“Oh hey, honey,” Cat said, getting up, glass of wine in hand. “Good to see you,” she whispered in my ear before kissing me on the cheek.
“Holy shit,” the guy who was next to her said. “You’re Dustin LeBlanc.”
“Very perceptive,” I gritted through my teeth, staring down the two men. “Hi, Jenny.” She was visibly drunk and clearly enjoying her flirting time.
“We just came back here after we were at the bar,” Cat explained.
“That’s good,” I nodded. “Nice to meet you guys. I’m going to have to ask you all to leave, though, as I need to have a chat with my wife.”
They didn’t protest, but stood up quickly, with Jenny.
“Thanks for the wine, bro,” one of them said, slapping me on the back as he walked toward the door. “I don’t care what the news says about you. You’re alright.”
One of the frat bros was ushering Jenny out the door with him, and I stopped her. “That’s alright,” I said. “I’ll call Jenny an Uber.”
He stood, dumbfounded, swaying a little bit in the doorframe.
“Bro,” I added, with a wink.
He sighed a little dejectedly and continued out the door.
I called Jenny a car home, and when we were finally alone, I turned to Cat. I clenched my jaw, looking at her as she stood coquettishly leaned back against the kitchen island. She held a glass of plum-colored wine in her hand and wore jeans and a blue blouse.
“What the fuck was that?” I said, stepping to the kitchen counter and pouring myself a glass of wine.
“What was what?” she replied innocently.
“Uh, you invited two guys over to my house without asking me.”
“This isourhouse. Not your house.”
I took a deep breath and gulped down some wine. “Arriving home after a long road trip to other random bros who I don’t know is not something I want to become a regular practice.”
“Just like I don’t want to come home to a naked woman cleaning your house?”
I tensed. “Well, looks like you two got along pretty well, anyway.” I stepped in closer to her.
