Both Mr. Winterborne and I waited on pins and needles as he drifted off, smiling as if recalling a fond dream.
“Her head.” He winked at the immigration offer.
“Her ... head?” Mr. Winterborne asked.
“That’s right. Her head.” Dustin leaned over and wrapped both of his hands around my cranium. “Do you understand how smart she is? There is so much knowledge in here, Mr. Winterborne. It’s uncanny. She’s a doctor, and has thebiggesthead of anyone I know with so much knowledge in there. It’s so big. I mean just look at it.”
I wanted to die, right there on that bland beige carpet.Please, just tell him this is a joke and then be serious. For the love of God.I swallowed hard and could feel my skin starting to heat.
“Her brain is ginormous. But you know what, it’s not even the biggest thing she has.”
“Oh no?” Mr. Winterborne said, clearly curious.
Dustin shook his head. “That would be her heart.”
I died a second death internally, trying to keep a straight face on the outside.Are you trying to win a freaking Oscar here? What on earth are you doing?I wished he could read my mind so I could tell him exactly what I was thinking. He might not understand all of the expletives though, since they’d be in Catalan.
“Dustin loves to joke around,” I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. “Besides, we’ve known each other since college days and kept in touch over the years. This is just sort of our dynamic as a couple.”
“Oh, I see,” Mr. Winterborne said as he scribbled something down.
“Not joking,” Dustin winked. “I love everything about her. A guy like me, I might be good at hockey, but I’m not that smart. Can you imagine what a kid will be like withmyathletic prowess andherbrains? It will essentially be a superman! Or woman!”
Mr. Winterborne stood up. “Let me make something clear. I don’t take fondly to those who think they are above law and order, and I’m getting a strong sense that you’re not taking this questioning seriously. I have a backlog of interviews, and you appear to be making a mockery of my role.”
Dustin cleared his throat. “Quite the contrary, sir. I’mveryserious about how smart my wife is.”
“Thank you. That will be all. Mr. and Mrs…wait a minute. Have you changed your name yet?” he asked.
“Not officially.”
“Interesting. Have a nice day, you two.”
Mr. Winterborne wrote something else down, shaking his head. I covered my face with my hands.
CHAPTER 17
DUSTIN
“What the hellgot into you back there?!” Cat chided me as we neared her favorite restaurant. “Don’t you know that guy has the power to send me away with a snap of the finger? And us to prison! And you’re fucking around.”
“I’m not fucking around. I was being serious. I love your big brain. It’s wonderful. Well, I could have mentioned some other things. But I didn’t think talking about my love for your anatomy would have been appropriate.”
“Total. Disaster,” Cat reiterated. I pulled into a parking spot on the street and we walked toward the restaurant.
“That’s just not true. We have the interviews scheduled for next week. That’s going to be the real test. Besides, I think that guy was just being a dick because I sidelined his favorite player on the Cougars. If he reports us, we’ll just request a mistrial or whatever.”
I held the door open for her and we headed in.
“Amistrial?I don’t think you understand the law.”
“I’ve seen a couple episodes ofLaw and Order.”
She shook her head. “Well for our future interviews, I’m sure he’ll have lots more questions for you about my big head.”
We neared the host stand, and the hostess’s face was priceless when she overheard that. “Uh,” she coughed. “Table for two?”
I nodded.
