I press a hand to my chest like I’m trying to hold the truth there.
“Thanks,” I say again. But this time, my voice doesn’t waver.
“Go find him,” she says, patting my arm. “Unless you’re gonna sit around here all night listening to more sad country songs.”
I smile, heart thudding.
* * *
We endup on a rooftop downtown with plastic cups of something strong—bourbon and ginger maybe. I’m warm in the chest, light in the head, and a little too honest.
The skyline twinkles like it knows secrets I don’t. The streets below pulse with music and heat, like the city’s breathing in time with us.
April leans back on her elbows beside me, her heels kicked off, her braid starting to unravel. “Okay, Nash is a vibe. You were right. I’m a little tired from the four hour drive, but seems like everything is open good and late here.”
“It’s a vibe all right.”
“So. How are you feeling?” She asks.
I grin, swirling what’s left in my cup. “It’s the first thing I’ve done for myself in a while that didn’t come with a voice in my head saying ‘what will they think.’”
April glances over. “And what doyouthink?”
“I think I feel free,” I admit. “And sad. And also like I’m waking up from something.”
“Sounds about right.”
We sit in silence for a beat. The wind dances through the air, brushing my bare arms, catching on the soft edges of my blouse. Then I say it, barely above a whisper:
“I think I love him.”
April doesn’t react dramatically. She just exhales, almost like she’d been waiting for me to say it.
“Then go love him,” she says. “Stop trying to logic your way out of it. You’re not scared ofhim,Faith. You’re scared that he might be everything you’ve ever wanted—and that if you let yourself want it, it might vanish.”
I stare out at the skyline again, at the shimmer of lights stretched over a city that’s teaching me more about myself in one night than Vansborough has in years.
“I want to be brave,” I say.
April clinks her plastic cup against mine. “You already are.”
“But April.”
“Yeah?’
“What if I tell him I love him, and he breaks my heart?”
April lifts a light smile. “Then he breaks it. But at least you know where you stand. And you don’t have to spend the rest of your life wondering.”
And in that moment—with bourbon in my blood, the stars above, and a friend beside me—I decide.
I know exactly what I’m going to do.
34
HUNTER
Holloway’s Hideout is packed.
