“No.” I bat at his hands, rolling to my knees. Standing with my back to him, I grab the pieces of my dress and pull them acrossmy chest to hide my naked breasts. I walk through the back door to the large bowl of rainwater. Grabbing a cloth, I wet it and clean myself as best I can. Without a word, I walk past a visibly distraught Padraig and up the steps to my room above. I find a clean shift and dress, changing quickly, checking my reflection in the small mirror to be sure I have ridden myself of Darragh’s mark completely. My cheeks are going to bruise, and my lip is split, but that cannot be helped. I ball up the soiled fabric and stomp back downstairs, tossing it in the bin for mending.
“Trinli—” I raise my hand to stop him. I cannot bear to hear his voice at this moment, hear his pity.
“Please…please fetch the boys once more. Supper is getting cold.”
“No, you need—”
“I need you to get my children for supper.” I feel him stare before he huffs and stomps from the house. Leaning against the counter, I drop my head and give myself a second.
The boys are subdued, Padraig is distant, and the remainder of the evening passes unpleasantly. I sleep fitfully, rising early once Jakob is back to sleep after his second nightmare. Thankfully, Padraig has gone to work and Darragh never came home. Outside, I freshen up, reveling in the cold water as it soothes my heated flesh. Towel in hand, I turn around and stop dead at the sight of my dress from yesterday hanging on the line to dry. Clean and fully mended.
Padraig is too sweet for this world. And he is going to be my ruin.
Padraig (Paw-drig) “Paddy” Fitzgerald 5.
“I will not presume to know how you did things back home, spud-muncher, but you are in America now, and this is how it is done.”
I swallow down my retort, inhaling so hard my nostrils flare. “I did not know America was known for cutting corners. Do we have an abundance of available miners that you feel comfortable playing fast and loose with their safety?”
“Safety?” My manager chuckles like an eejit, the sound grating on my already thin nerves. “Miners are like coal,Paddy, easy to dig up.” I stare blankly at him, his horrific pun a crime against humanity. Not to mention this man has not spent a single second inside any of the mines, he wouldn’t know how to find coal if it jumped up and bit him in thesceidin,as small as it probably is. “Your job is to ensure we meet quota, not question the decisions of men far more intelligent and richer than either of us.”
Story of my life.
“Understood,” I grit out, turn sharply on my heels and leave his cramped office. My mind works through available supplies and depleted shafts as I walk across the company grounds. If I remove the supports from the sections we’ve finished, Imight be able to buy us a little more time. Problem is the more stopes we create, the more the structural integrity of the shafts degrade. Collapses occur frequently, and despite company “policy”, I consider the lives of the men under my supervision just as important as any quota. They have families that depend on them.
Even Darragh Byrne. God help me, I detest his very existence, but I am not sure I could overlook safety hazards that could take his life and look at myself in the mirror every day. If I could look Trinli in the eye again.
How can such a slovenly creature be married to such an angel? These last months have been beautiful agony; living under the same roof as Trinli, watching the boys grow like weeds, learning the differences in her eyes and smiles depending on her mood. I have known a number of women in my day, most of which are my relation, who possess a continence and strength most men can never hope to achieve. I dare say Trinli rivals my mam, my esteem and respect grow for her daily.
I listen to him berate her, use her violently, taking from her everything she is unwilling to give and then dismiss her as if she means nothing. As if she is not the binding that holds this patch together. My manager could learn a thing or two from her on how to lead. Fostering relationships and encouraging purpose. The other women and children look to her for guidance. She is a mother and a wife, devoted to her boys, but she is also a seamstress, cook, physician, child-minder, and gardener. And on top of all that, she is educated, well-read, insightful and quite witty.
Of course, she is bonnie. Everything about her, eyes, pert little nose, bountiful breasts, and feminine waist call to me. Beckons me ever closer to sin with the sound of her laughter or sweet smile aimed my way.
Darragh struck her the other day, she had cooked too many vegetables and not enough meat. It was a ridiculous accusation as there was clearly plenty of food to eat, including the meat. But he saw…I am ashamed to admit that I believe he concocted a reason to hurt her because of my careless admiration. It is quite trying to be in her presence and not be in awe of her. It took great effort to simply raise my voice and not my hand. I bit my tongue then as I did just now, because if I cause too much trouble, if I am fired, I lose her. I lose Jakob, Riordan, and Gabriel.
That is most assuredly a loss from which I could never recover. So, I bite my tongue, I still my hands, and I temper my anger. For her. As I said, she encourages purpose, and my purpose is Trinli.
Trinli 6.
1903
“Then the traveler in the dark,”I sing softly to the boys as they lay cuddled together, rocking Noemi in my arms. “Thanks you for your tiny spark.”Smiling to myself at the sounds they make as they drift into sleep, I run the backs of my fingers down their chubby little cheeks. “He could not see which way to go, If you did not twinkle so. Twinkle, twinkle, little star, How I wonder what you are!”
They sleep in this bed, but the four of them live in my heart. It was less than ideal adding another mouth to feed, but from the moment it became obvious I was pregnant, I knew I would welcome a little girl. And Noemi came screaming into the world 3 months ago. Nestling her in the small basket next to the bed, I remember the day of her birth in perfect detail.
Paddy had moved into his own home more than six months before and took with him any compulsion Darragh felt to assert his ownership. The swelling of my belly was like a brand. Darragh started drinking more often, sometimes disappearing for days at a time. I do not know where he slept and with whom and I do not ever care to know. His absence had the opposite effect, however, driving Padraig and I closer. The boys love him, accidentally calling himda.
I love him. And I cannot do a damn thing about that love. It resides inside me, embedded in the very marrow of my bone, a part of me as dear and vital as the blood that flows through my veins. The times when I could not find the darkness to hide from Darragh’s violent touch, I would picture Padraig. He would treat me well, respectfully, reverently. He would wield his physical strength for worship rather than harm. He is honorable, and so am I. It can never be anything more than what it is right now. The most important friendship of my life, sunshine in a dreary sky. Momentary warmth in a perpetually bone-chilling cold.
The morning I went into labor, Margaret and the others helped with the boys, and Alice came to guide me through the delivery. Not that I had forgotten the last three births, but it is always nice to have someone there in case something goes awry. Pain. Screaming. And a big mess.
When Padraig rushed into the house and straight to my side, I momentarily forgot I was actively pushing a child from my body, I was so shocked. Darragh was never present; it was four days before he realized Riordan had been born. Yet, here was Padraig, a man who by all rights had no reason to be at my side, encouraging me, wiping the sweat from my brow, and holding my leg up.
His tears mingled with my own when Alice placed my precious baby girl on my chest. I looked up, his eyes glittering with wonder and joy, and asked, “What should we name her?” It felt natural to ask his opinion, though we were both surprised by my question.
A soft smile tipped his lips as he stared intently at my daughter. “Noemi.”
“Noemi.” I repeated it back, liking it more each time I tried it out in my head. “It is wonderful.”
