“Minnie, you can’t do that to him. You need to give him at least a chance to explain. For an entire year, I’ve been thinking, ‘God, I hope Dad takes a shot with his secretary—he’s so fucking in love with her!’ Every time you came up, his voice changed. I’m not saying he’s not an idiot for what he did. But if nothing else, you both need some closure. Whether it’s to give the two of you as a couple a chance or for you to eventually move on, you need to have an actual conversation with him.” Bean takes a deep breath. “And come on, Min. You’re in love with him, too. You have been for a year.”
“I’m trying to figure out how I feel now, after everything,” I say quietly. “It’s a lot, you know? It’s so much more complicated than it was when I first left New York.”
“It is. And no matter what happens, I love you.”
I blink back tears and look at her. “I love you, too. I don’t want us to lose who we are to each other.”
“We won’t. We won’t let that happen.” She jumps up and crashes into me, wrapping her arms around me. “We’re too fucking stubborn to let it.”
I laugh, hugging her back. “Fuck yeah, we are.”
“I’m going to go find us drinks and then we’re going to make a whole playlist of inappropriate songs.” Bean stands and stretches. “I like this little hiding spot.”
“It’s not a very good hiding spot if you found me.”
“It’s me you’re talking about here. I can always find you.”
“Way to make it sound creepy as fuck, Bean.”
She laughs and blows me a kiss before leaving to find more alcohol. I don’t usually start drinking as early as I did this morning, but what’s a bridal shower at a fancy ass resort without cocktails? Then there were more offered while we were at the spa, and of course, even more at lunch. I’ve had a slight buzz all day. Once the wedding is over, I’m going to have to detox for a bit. I’ve never been much of a party girl, but in the two weeks since running from Alex, I’ve definitely done more than my fair share of drinking.
A few minutes later, Bean returns with more mimosas because apparently they’re her new favorite thing and squeezes into the chair with me. “I thought of five songs on the way there and back.”
I grin as I start theAbsolutely Inappropriate Songs for a Weddingplaylist.
Chapter 35
Bring to a simmer and boil over
Amelia
Afew hours later, I have to remind myself multiple times that I love my best friend as I navigate the rehearsal dinner.
It probably wasn’t even Bean that decided it should be so formal. It was most likely Tiffany’s idea. But it’s annoying no matter who picked it, since we already have to be formal tomorrow for the wedding.
Alex has been wearing jeans and T-shirts all week, but now he’s in a suit and tie. God, he looks so damn sexy in suits.
My dress is fancier than what I usually wear to work, but it’s still too reminiscent of our normal office attire.
“Fucking hell,” I hear Grant mutter. He, Leon, and Travis all have their ties in various states of disarray. Dax is the only one of them who has his actually tied. “Why couldn’t we get clip-ons like the kids?”
“Because you’re all old enough that you should know how to do this!” I stomp over and grab my oldest brother’s tie, and in just a few seconds, it’s perfect. I move on to Leon, then Travis, and laugh when my dad and Johnny both step up next. Shaking my head, I tie each of theirs as well and get kisses on the cheek in return.
Dad looks over his shoulder and chuckles. “Alex, don’t youwear these damn things every day? How is your tie so screwed up?”
“I’m only good at tying it in the first place. Then I start touching it without even realizing it, and I’m trash at getting it back in place,” he grumbles, still fucking with his tie.
“Well, come on, let Minnie fix it since she’s apparently an expert. Then we can do the whole rehearsal thing, take a few pictures, and have some dinner.”
Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. I can’t just refuse to fix Alex’s goddamned tie without looking like a complete bitch. I still contemplate doing so for a few seconds before I turn around and reach for it, my hands trembling. His cologne fills my lungs. My gaze doesn’t leave the silk and I fight tears as I gently bring the knot to the base of his neck, memories of us overwhelming me.
“Thank you,” he says quietly. I nod and walk away quickly without looking him in the eye once. I know we need to talk at some point, but I’m tired and cranky, and it’s just so hard to be around him and deal with everything else that’s going on right now.
We take some pictures, then run through the ceremony a few times. Raelynn is adorable as the flower girl and makes a show of throwing invisible petals each time. And as I thought, Henry is the cutest damn thing, carrying the little pillow that will have the rings tied to it tomorrow. They walk together and high-five each other every time they get to the front.
I’m the third bridesmaid to walk down the aisle and am escorted by one of Calvin’s friends, who keeps putting his hand on my lower back. I’m going to have to up my threat of breaking his fingers to chopping off his balls.
After the maid of honor and best man reach the front, Alex walks Bean down the aisle. He looks even more handsome than he normally does. His eyes find mine every time, holding mygaze until he turns to smile at his daughter. He moves to his seat next to Tiffany and she keeps putting her hand on his arm, but I feel his gaze on me, building a fire in my core that won’t die down.
