Shit. She’s my daughter’s best friend. How the hell do I deal with this? Does it change how I feel about her?
No, it doesn’t. I love her. I love her so fucking much. I already knew she was an amazing best friend. It’s still blowing my mind that the girl she calls Bean is my Lizzie.
It’s got to be weird for her, realizing her boss and her best friend’s dad are the same person. And Lizzie… I have no idea how she’ll take it. This is all so complicated.
Fuck. Maybe I should walk away and…
I mentally shake myself.Knock it the fuck off, idiot!Shit, I can’t keep letting fear creep in and ruin this. I need to fix this. I need to get Amelia to listen to me. I need to at least try. I’m not giving up on her, on us.
Iwillfix this.
I keep getting lost in my own thoughts, and every time I refocus, more and more kids appear in the den. The large sectional couch is quickly full of Sinclairs. There are also a couple boys I don’t remember being at dinner. Everyone cheers when the Seattle Mariners win the game. Henry does a little dance, shaking his butt in the middle of the room, wearing just a pair of underwear covered in some cartoon dogs I don’trecognize.
“Henry, where are your clothes?” Barry asks with a chuckle. The kid giggles and runs from the room, almost crashing into Lizzie in the doorway.
“Whoa, little dude, slow your roll!” she yells after him.
“No, Beanie Weanie!” he yells back, laughing.
“Whoever started that fucking nickname is dead meat.” Lizzie glares at each person in the room in turn. She points at the two new ones. “Mom’s looking for you boys.”
They groan in unison. I didn’t even realize they’re her younger brothers until now.
Lizzie glances at me and grins. “Deer in headlights, Dad.”
“Just trying to keep everyone straight.” Seriously, there are a lot of kids in this room. I need a chart or something.
Lizzie laughs. “Okay, let’s see if I can help. You know me, obviously. I’m the best one, and your only child, so that’s easy to keep track of. Minnie’s probably chasing a mostly-naked preschooler around, but I usually attach her to my hip, so get used to seeing her.”
The fact that I’m able to keep my face from showing all the emotions I feel when Amelia is mentioned is a fucking miracle.
“Hmmm… how should I do this?” Lizzie asks.
“Alphabetically, obviously,” Barry deadpans.
“Fun, but no.” She does finger guns at him and he chuckles, a wide grin on his face. “Moving on! You met the Sinclairs, but I’ll refresh your memory and introduce you to the Boyds. Well, not Stephanie because she’s apparently too cool to hang out with us anymore.”
She points to each person as she lists them for me. “Grant Sinclair, nineteen and hasn’t realized he actually is too cool for the rest of us. Leon Sinclair, fifteen. Best friend of my brother, Travis Boyd, fourteen. Christy Sinclair, ten, and definitely too cool for the rest of us, but she sticks around anyway.” Theyounger girl smiles brightly at Lizzie. “Then we have the twins Justin and Jenny Sinclair, and Aaron Boyd, aka the Three Musketeers, all seven years old.” The three of them are stretched out side by side on their stomachs on the floor, and they all give a little wave, then burst into giggles.
Henry runs in, making a noise that’s half screech, half laugh, and does a lap around the couch. Amelia comes through the door and scoops him up just as he rushes past.
“Gotcha, you wild child. Bath time for you, buddy.” She turns him upside down and blows a raspberry on his stomach, causing him to belly laugh.
“You give me my bath.” He throws his arms around her neck and snuggles into her. My heart clenches. I never really thought about having more kids until I let myself occasionally imagine a future with Amelia over the last year, and seeing her with Henry is making me aware of just how much I fucked this whole thing up. I want a future with her.
“You just want to splash me. But I’ll give you a bath, little man.”
“And a story.”
“You drive a hard bargain, sir. What do I get out of this deal?”
Henry leans back and puts a finger on his chin like he’s thinking it over. Lizzie snorts a laugh, a few others giggle, and I don’t know what to call the noise I make because to my own ears, it sounds like I’m in pain, which I am, but I think to everyone else it sounds like a low chuckle. Amelia’s eyes dart to me, then she quickly looks back to her brother, who holds his arms out wide. “Hugs!”
“Hmm… Okay, but only because Henry hugs are the best hugs. Go say your goodnights.” She sets him on his feet and he starts running from person to person, giving each one a hug and a ‘night night’. He gives Lizzie a slobbery kiss on the cheek and then surprises the fuck out of me by giving me a quick hug.
“Night night, Beanie’s daddy.”
“Uh, night, buddy.”
