Ipace my living room for hours, berating myself for being an idiot over and over. Amelia doesn’t answer my calls or texts. Not that I blame her.
After an entire year of pining, of wanting, of dreaming, I finally had her. I held her in my arms, lost myself in her body.
And I fucked it up in a moment of doubt.
Dropping to my couch, my head falls into my hands. God, I can smell her on my fingers. Can faintly taste her on my tongue.
Knowing there’s no way I’m getting any sleep tonight, I sit and stare out the window. When the sun comes up, I force myself to shower, even though it’s the last thing I want to do, because I hate the thought of washing her off of me.
I’ll grovel. I’ll prove how much I fucking love her. I’ll worship her. I’ll give her the world and treat her like a queen. She’ll forgive me for being a fool. Shehasto forgive me.
I arrive at work more than an hour early. My normally tidy piles of paper are scattered across my desk and litter the floor from the events of last night. I don’t touch them. Instead, I stare at my open door, waiting for Amelia.
Shortly after nine, the phone on my desk rings.
“What?” I bark.
“Do you not even know how to answer a phone, Alexander?” Katie asks, sounding like a disappointed grandma.
“Not today, I don’t.” I sound like an asshole, but right now, I don’t give a shit.
“Family emergency, my ass,” she mutters.
“What are you talking about?”
“Oh, that’s the bullshit reason Amelia gave for quitting.”
My breath catches in my chest and my heart feels…wrong.
“She quit?” She can’t quit! She can’t leave me.
“I don’t even want to know how you screwed this up, but fix it. You need her. Hell, we all need her. But you?” Katie sighs. “Fix it, Alex. I’ll start looking for a replacement in case you can’t get her to come back, and I’m sending Julia up there to temp until… Well, anyway, Julia will be there soon.”
“Have her reschedule everything on my calendar for today as soon as she can,” I growl miserably.
“What? Everything? You have important meetings today. I figured you’d give Amelia some time to cool off and go see her tonight.”
“I’ve waited long enough.” I hang up and run my hand down my face. My office smells like her. That sweet citrus lotion she likes so much clings to the air. There’s a big bottle of it in her desk that I gave her for Christmas.
Or what used to be her desk.
That thought makes me jump up from my chair and rush to the elevator. I didn’t move fast enough last night. It took me too long to come to my senses. Of course it wasn’t a mistake. Maybe not the smartest thing to do, and for a second, fear took over. But after watching her walk out the door, after seeing the hurt in her eyes, hearing it in her voice… No, I don’t regret finally giving in. What I regret is letting her walk out the door.
I stomp to the car and direct the driver to her apartment, bouncing my leg impatiently the entire drive.
There’s no answer when I knock.
“Amelia, open the door,” I say loudly, listening for movement inside.
“She left a couple of hours ago,” a voice says from behind me. “Had bags with her, said she was going home, and would figure out what to do with the rest of her stuff later.”
I turn and gape at the elderly lady standing in the doorway across from Amelia’s apartment. “Do you happen to know where home is?” I ask.
How the hell do I not know exactly where she’s from? I remember everything Amelia’s ever told me about herself, and somehow she never mentioned the name of her small town with a good pizza place and a not-so-good pizza place.
“Nope, but since I’m guessing you’re the reason she’s gone, I don’t think I would tell you even if I did.”
“I fucked up. I’m trying to fix it. Ineedto fix it.”
