“Ariana, sweetheart, wake up.” I place my hands on her arms gently, hoping our shared love language works its magic, but she jerks away, scratching me in the process. Her hands continue to flail, making contact with my body again and again. “Ouch. Fuck. What works, Lil?” I should probably move out of Ariana’s reach, but I don’t. I look at my cousin, feeling lost as fuck, but she shakes her head.
“Nothing, she just eventually wakes up or passes out.”
“Fuck that.” I think back to when she panicked in the basement. Something has to bring her out of this.
Chapter 48
Trauma's a bitch
Ariana
‘Princess.’Pain explodes as he uses his knife like a punctuation mark every time he says it.
‘You think you’re better than us now, Princess?’I can’t breathe.
‘Daddy will be too late to save you, Princess.’My torso is on fire.
‘This is how it ends, Princess.’There’s so much blood.
I hear screaming. So much screaming. I want it to stop, but I don’t know where it’s coming from.God, someone make it stop.Hands touch my arms, and I fight them off. My fingers connect with a face and chest, my nails catching on skin as I lash out over and over again. I can’t hear anything except the screaming.
But then something breaks through it. “Baby,” is all I can make out at first, but it’s Luca’s voice.
My Luca.
“Baby, wake up,” I hear him say.
But I am awake,aren’t I?
“Baby, come back to me,” he begs.
But I’m right here.
He repeats these words more times than I can count. I’m so confused. I know my eyes are open, but it’s like I’m looking through a stack of dirty windows and I can’t make anything out. The screaming gets quieter, my eyes start to focus, and my arms give out in exhaustion.
Suddenly, I snap out of it. I stop screaming, and it’s only then that I realize the sound was coming from me the whole time.Fuck. The nightmare again.I blink, and the fuzzy shape in front of my eyes forms into Luca. I launch myself at him, my arms wrapping around his neck. He grabs me by the waist to pull me against him. “I’ve got you, baby,” he whispers into my hair.
We’re sitting on the bed, and I’m basically in his lap now. “Luca,” I croak.
It feels like I swallowed a broken glass and vodka cocktail. “Shhhh baby, your throat has to be raw as fuck.” His voice is uneven and thick with emotion and tears… and pain. I pull back to look at him and promptly lose my shit.
His face, arms, and chest are covered in red marks and scratches. Dozens, maybe hundreds of them. His skin is broken and bleeding in so many places. “Oh my god, Luca!” I cry out. I did that. I hurt him. My throat burns every time I talk, but that doesn’t stop me. “I… I hurt you. Fuck! I’m so sorry.”
I bring my aching hands back from around his neck, and I see blood and skin under my nails. I whimper as I raise my tear-soaked eyes to meet his. What I see there both breaks me and puts me back together at the same time. Love pours out of them. Out of him. His hands cup my cheeks, and he brings his forehead to mine.
“It’s okay, baby. You didn’t know where you were or what was happening.”
A month ago, even a few days ago, I would have retreated intomyself, tried to push him away because I don’t deserve this man, and he doesn’t deserve to deal with my damaged ass. And while both of those things are still true, I know that neither one of us is going anywhere. He’s mine. I’m his. We’re pieces of a puzzle that belong together. So I throw my arms around him again and bury my face against his neck. One of his hands rubs my back while the other holds my head to him.
“I love you,” I scratch out.
“I love you, too, baby. So much,” he whispers, his lips pressed against my hair.
I reach out with my right arm, instinctually knowing that’s where Lil is, and then she’s wrapping her arms around me and as much of Luca as she can, which isn’t much since he’s a giant.
“I love you, Lil.”
“I love you, too, Ari.” After a minute or so, she pulls away. “I’m going to go find some first aid stuff and make you some hot tea with honey.” She kisses my head and pats Luca on the back on her way out. “Good job, cousin. I guess we’ll keep you around.”
