“I fully intend to teach them to kick your ass.” She’s unbothered. Which makes sense, really. I’ll teach them how to shoot and bake, Luca will have to teach them how to fight.
Wait, what? My entire face crinkles in confusion. Did I really just imagine Luca teaching our future kids, and Lil’s future kids, how to fight? Do I evenwantkids? Doesheeven want kids? We haven’t talked about his long-term plans. Does he actually want to stick around here? He said he loves me, but does he love me in a, ‘I want to be with you forever,’ kind of way? Or a, ‘I want you to wait for me while I go off and fuck around for a decade,’ kind of way? Because I don’t have that second one in me. It hurts to think about him with someone else. And what if he wants to stay here, but fuck around?
My thumb moves back and forth over the locket. I carved DeVille across the middle, with Ari above and Lil below, as soon as I knew how to spell everything. It’s scratched and scarred and lost its shine a long time ago. Even if I didn’t use it as a fidget, it wouldn’t be in great shape. But we don’t give a shit. The locket holds our greatest treasure.
That first day we met when we were five, we found a dandelion with just one piece of fluff left on it at recess. We made a wish to be together forever and put the fluff inside the locket Lil was wearing to keep it safe. That’s how wishes come true.
I think I want forever with Luca, too. But forever with a DeVille is dangerous. Forever with me?—
Lil’s hand covers mine and my thumb stills. I blink rapidly, trying to bring my vision into focus. Trying to pull out of the spiral. She starts rubbing my back gently.
“Shit,” I sigh heavily.
“Ari, what’s going on?”
“Nothing, I’m fine,” I lie, ignoring the way it sits like a rock in my stomach. I can tell she’s about to ‘Friends don’t lie,’ me. “Really, I’m okay. Just went down a weird rabbit hole in my brain.”
She holds my gaze and chews on the inside of her cheek, debating whether or not she believes me. When one side of her mouth raises, that rock in my stomach gets heavier. Of course, she believes me. We don’t fucking lie to each other.
I almost cave. I almost tell her about the ice neck.
“Okay.” She looks down at the list. “Should we run to the store, or are we pilfering your baking supplies?”
“Are we pirates?”
“Could be. You want the eye patch or the peg leg?”
“Eye patch. I’m keeping my shoes. I’m a fancy pirate.”
“I could rock a peg leg. And I just remembered that we finished off the good tortilla chips and promised Mom we’d get her more, so we better go to the store,” Lil says as Luca steps into the kitchen. He groans and turns right back around like he’s going to leave. “Oh, come on, we’re not that bad!” she declares.
“Yes, you are.” His hair is wet and he smells like his soap. I turn my head and take a deep breath when he comes up behind the stool I’m sitting on to wrap his arms around me.
“Did you just sniff me?” he whispers in my ear, sending a shiver of want through my body.
“What? No.” He chuckles, and I elbow him in the gut. “Shut up.”
He laughs again before asking, “Are we doing dinner there with Callie?”
“We usually do. Danielle always insists on ordering us food.”
“Let’s run to the grocery store now and grab coffee while we’re out.” Lil always has the best ideas.
“Yes! Let’s do that!”
Luca looks at our coffee cups on the counter and purses his lips, but stays silent.
“I need to go change my shirt because this one has a stain on it from when someone wore it, stretched it out with her big boobs, and spilled ketchup all over herself.” Lil narrows her eyes at me.
“It was hot sauce, thank you very much.”
“That’s right. Which shirt did you get ketchup on?”
“Which time?”
“How many… you know what, never mind.” She heads out of the room, presumably to find something I didn’t spill food on or stretch out. Good luck, my friend. When it’s just the two of us hanging out, and I’m not worried about my scars, I throw on whatever I find sometimes.
I turn around and grab the front of Luca’s shirt in my fist, pulling him in for a kiss. He picks me up and off the stool, sets me on my feet after a few more kisses and giggles from me, then turns me toward the stairs. He swats my ass playfully when I don’t move right away.
