“It’s one of my best skills. Like catching grapes in my mouth. And I really hated that movie. Even Henry Cavill couldn’t save that fucking train wreck.”
“But really, Luca should probably know, for safety reasons, if he doesn’t already,” Lil says. “And I don’t think he’ll look at you like you’re broken.”
“Dad can hardly talk about it, Lil. He probably hasn’t mentioned it.”
“It was a hard night for him. It was a hard night for all of us.” Lil sighs, “But Dad… I mean, he hardly let you out of his sight for a whole year. And I’m honestly surprised we’re allowed to do half the shit they know about, let alone get away with the shit they don’t know about.” Ariana snorts a laugh, but I can’t enjoy the adorable noise this time because I’m silently dying in the hallway. What the fuck happened to my girl? And why hasn’t Marco told me about it if she’s in some kind of danger?
“But even if Luca doesn’t know about it, he’s not going to let anything happen to you. That boy, he’s done for, over the moon for you.”
“Lil—”
“And don’t pretend like you don’t feel the same way about him. When he’s around, your eyes light up like it’s Christmas morning, and there’s a million caramel macchiatos, peppermint white mochas, and pumpkin spice lattes under the tree. You should tell him how you feel.”
“I can’t, Lil,” Ariana whispers.
“And why the fuck not?” Lil asks, clearly upset with her best friend.
“Because he doesn’t deserve to be saddled with my bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit, Ari. It’s trauma. It’s your personal history, and yeah, there’s a lot of dark in it. It’s… it’s fucked up. But it’s not all you are.”
“It’s drama. It’s baggage. It’s scars and fucking screaming inthe middle of the night. It’s me not being able to sleep alone. I come with a lot of bullshit.” I almost rush into the kitchen to take her into my arms, but I don’t. It’s not the right time.
I really shouldn’t be listening.
I can’t make myself walk away.
“You better not be referring to me as bullshit, by the way, because you know I go wherever you go. For life. Ride or die, best friends forever, sisters of the heart, platonic soulmates, and all that jazz.”
“You’re not bullshit, Lil. You’re the main reason I haven’t gone completely crazy. You and Mom and Dad and Becca and Ford, you all took me in and gave me a home and a family when you didn’t have to, and you’ve been there for me ever since, even through the worst kinds of shit.”
“You’ve been there for us, too. You’re the reason I’ve gotten out of so many bad situations over the years because you’re a little badass fighter babe. You’re also the reason I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble over the years.” They both laugh softly. “But we’ve always wondered if we would find people who would just… get us. Who would fold into our weird mix and just roll with it. And as much as it pains me to say this because he’s my cousin, and I’ll always think of him as that little asshole who pushed me in the lake when I was ten, I think he’s your person. And you’re his.”
“You’remy person, Lil.”
“Maybe you can have more than one person, Ari.” Lil takes a deep breath. “Even with his whole ‘eat better, drink less caffeine, stop drinking yourself stupid’ stuff, at the end of the day, Luca accepts you for who you are. And you accept him for who he is, even though he drinks black coffee and grumbles more than he actually talks.”
“Hey, I like his grumbles.”
“Well, you’re weird. You know, it’s a good thing Parker wenthome earlier. Luca would have to kill him if he came in here right now and saw your booty hanging out of those panties.”
“And just how do you know Parker went home tonight?” Ariana teases.
“Oh, shut up. I just happened to see him leave.”
“Right. Sure. Also, you suck. Why did you have to go and say pumpkin spice latte in June?” Ariana groans as I silently sneak away with my heart in my throat.
Chapter 39
A losing battle
Ariana
As much as I dislike shopping centers in general, I actually had fun yesterday. I bought new lingerie I might never find the nerve to wear, and heels so high I’ll possibly break an ankle in them, for a guy I don’t think I deserve. What we did on the couch after his fight made me feel sexy and wanted. Beautiful. Powerful.
The way he looks at me makes me feel all those things, too.
I was on cloud nine when we stepped outside with our hands full of bags but came crashing down when we were walking out to the car. That icy tingle spread across the back of my neck again.
