“Shhh! Don’t say that too loud. I made his ass play crazy for six months. Had him in the social security office pouring cups of water in his pocket and telling them he was saving it for the fish.”
I laughed so hard I damn near pissed myself.
“Auntie! No, you didn’t!”
“The hell I did.”
“Lex, you are insane, Sis. You’re the one that need that damn check,” my mom said.
“I know you ain’t talking, pot. You had Noah calling the police on you almost every other week, telling them folks you was over there howling at the moon.”
“Oh my God, Mommy! Did Daddy really do that?” I asked, tears coming to my eyes because I couldn’t stop laughing.
“Stop telling my business, Alexis. No, baby. This is why I said her ass need that check instead of Charles.”
“We need to normalize not telling our kids lies. That’s how they grow up lying to they kids.”
Raeley snickered. “Really, Ma?”
“Wanna bet? Ali Cat, did you tell your kids there was a Santa Claus and Easter Bunny?”
I smiled in shame. “I did.”
“Point proven.” We all laughed as I shook my head.
“Anyway. Your mama told me how fine that babysitter was,” Aunt Lex said with a smile on her pretty face. She sipped her glass of wine while she stared at me.
“He’s a manny, Auntie,” I corrected her.
“Girl, it’s the same damn thing,” she fussed.
“It’s not, Ma,” Raeley told her.
“Hush, girl. You need to stop working so much and find you somebody to hunch so you can give me grandbabies.”
“I gets mine, thank you. You just want me to have a baby by any ol’ body. You wouldn’t care if it was crackhead John from Mack and Bewick.”
“I know you fucking lying. You think I want my grandbabies coming out searching for a crack pipe instead of a titty?”
The line erupted in laughter as I held my stomach, trying not to pee on my damn self. “Aunt Lex, please!” I yelled.
“I’ve been trying to tell my dear daughter to go for what she know with that fine-ass man, but she acting all scary.”
I huffed. “You guys don’t understand. What Leo did to me really messed me?—”
My mom cut me off. “Get over it, pumpkin, and get under Basil. He’s over there cooking, cleaning, and taking care of your kids. Hell, let him take care of you too. Fuck that piece of shit you married.”
“It’s not that easy, Mom. I have three kids to consider. What if things don’t work out with Basil? Then here I am again, lonely and trying to pick up the pieces of a broken heart.”
“I’m not?—”
“Hold on, Neek, let me take this.” Aunt Lex halted her.
“Go ahead, Sis.”
“Thank you, toots. Now, I know we cut up all the time, but let’s put all the jokes aside. I understand you completely, sweetie. It’s hard to get over someone you committed your life, your time, and your patience to. You both had to grow up together, and while he may have grown up, his maturity level did not. Essentially, some men are slow learners, and some never learn. In your case, your nigga didn’t learn shit.
“Think about the pros and cons of that marriage. Did it benefit you in any way? Did the highs of your marriage beat the lows? When y’all argued, did he apologize but go back and dothe same shit he apologized for? Did he carve out time for dates to keep the fire burning in your marriage? Did he carve out time with the kids?
