He brushes my hair away from my neck, kisses me under the ear, then murmurs with his low voice, telling me how good I feel, how tight I am for him, what he wants from me. His thrusts get more insistent, his breathing more urgent, his hand lowering back down to my hip to hold me exactly how he wants me. It makes my brain flushed and fuzzy, my attention scattering.
I can think of nothing but how good it feels, can focus on nothing but his breath and warmth and the thrust of his hips, coming flush with mine. He pinches my nipple between his thumb and finger, and I arch against him, squeezing around his cock so hard I see stars, and I think he might, too.
When it’s done, he shifts us so I’m on my stomach, my face turned to the side on a pillow. Max kisses down the length of my spine, massaging my ass, slipping one hand up between my legs and grunting at what he finds there — me and him, the evidence of what we’ve done.
“Fuck,” he mutters, hands finding my hips again, pulling me up onto my knees. I’m half-sleepy and wholly turned on, and I push back against his lap, wanting him any way I can have him.
I’m not sure if I’ve ever been this happy in my life. I’m also not sure if I’ve ever been with another man ready to go again this fast, but I’m not going to complain about it.
Max slips a finger inside me, drags it down to my clit, circles until the lust recently subsided rises up again, pulsing gently inside me. Then, he lines our hips up and pushes into me, and this time I can feeleverything, like the first round was just for practice.
“So beautiful,” he mutters, holding himself deep inside me for a moment, and I can feel the throb of him, of me, that heartbeat of want. “Sofuckingbeautiful, Lacey. You have no idea how much I wanted this.”
Reaching forward, he takes my shoulders and pulls me up, so my back is flush against his chest. He fucks me with quick, hard strokes, and I lean back into him, the pleasure in my throat and pushing at the backs of my eyes, his hands on my hips and stomach and chest. I reach back and turn my head, kissing him, and he wastes no time getting his tongue in my mouth, tasting me, driving his hips up so his cock buries even deeper in me than I thought was possible.
This time, my orgasm lasts for what feels like full minutes, my body shuddering around his, my gasps so loud and throaty that I probablyshouldbe embarrassed, but I’m not. I’m not sure I ever could be.
“Come here,” Max says, gathering me in his arms, pressing soft, spent kisses along my hairline. I love being carried by him, and I get the sense that he likes it, too. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
This morning,after a shower in which we had to wash twice — the first time, then again after making another mess — Max actuallydidhave to go feed Dona.
“Last time that I waited too long, she wrecked my boots,” he said when I followed him to the door, tugging on his jacket and begging him to stay.
“I’ll buy you new boots.”
“I’ll come back,” he’d promised, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek before pulling back and asking, “Unless you want to come with me?”
As much as I wanted to come down to his cabin and have a gourmet breakfast, sit at his counter, and even entice him to fuck me inhisbed, I said no.
There’s something I have to do that I’ve been putting off for far too long, and I’m making myself do it now.
With questions hanging over my head about what to do and what my future is going to look like, I have to check Jasper’s desk.
When I first got here and saw that his rudimentary desk had a few drawers, I’d shoved the thought out of my mind that anything could be in there. He’d left the cabin basically bare, nothing but canned food and the essentials behind. There wasn’t even soap in the shower.
But I knew Jasper. I know about his flair for the dramatic, and I have had the gut feeling that there’s something for me in that desk. Something that he would have left for me here, to make sure I actually came to the cabin.
I pull open the bottom drawer, where I find a package of pens, some paper, and a box of envelopes. Heart beating in my throat, I open the top drawer, which is slightly crooked and sticks for a moment before sliding open.
And, sure enough, there’s a single item inside. An envelope that’s bulging with roughly folded paper on the inside, my name scrawled across the front in Jasper’s handwriting.
With shaking hands, I reach in, pick it up, and hold it as delicately as a butterfly that’s landed on my palm. Then, after a few deep breaths, I open the envelope, take out the sheets of paper, and unfold them, throat closing at the sight of so much of Jasper’s handwriting in front of me.
Hey Bug,
So you made it to Montana!
Listen, I know you’re pissed off at me. I knew you’d be pissed off the second I made the decision that I did. But I also hope you know that I couldn’t stomach the last part of my life having to be some big, grand finale.
The truth is that I’ve loved every second of what I’ve had, and I don’t want to sacrifice that perfect life to the truth of what’s happening to me now. I know that doesn’t make you any less mad, but know this wasn’t some last prank, or test, or anything stupid like that.
I wanted the chance to go out the way I lived. And maybe that’s selfish. But hey, if I don’t get to be selfish when I have brain cancer, then what the fuck?
This is my last time up here at the cabin. Tonight, I’m flying home and leaving the 4Runner behind. Remember all those times I tried to get you to learn stick shift? Okay, so maybe there’s a prank hidden in here somewhere. I’m laughing just imagining the thought of you trying to drive that thing. But you should learn how to drive it while you’re here.
In fact, there’s a lot of stuff I hope you do while you’re here. Go into town. Sit and drink a coffee. Try fishing (you’ll like it, Bug!) and maybe even just breathe for a second.
I never wanted you to think I was coming from the same place as your mom, that I thought the video game thing was something to be ashamed of or not as special as any other job. But maybe I should have said more. Spoken out against how hard they made you work. You’re spectacular, Lacey, and I want you to enjoy your life. I want you to take the time to revel in your successes before moving right on to the next challenge.
