I double what he said and shake my head at the time and energy that must have gone into making that entire set for me. “I’m paying you for it.”
“Lacey—”
Like always, the sound of my name on his lips makes me feel super aware of myself, and I swallow, completing my loop around the shop and stopping in front of him again. Surprising both of us, I lift my hand to his mouth, placing a finger over his lips to cut off the rest of that sentence.
We’re close. Chest-to-chest. Each breath brings with it the brush of his against mine, and I’m staring into his eyes. It feels like time is suspended around us, like the fireflies floating in the air out there, ageless and unreal.
Max stares at me with an intensity that could melt wax. My finger drops from his lips and I swallow. His eyes track the movement, something in his jaw ticking as he watches me.
I decide, right here and now, that Iwouldsell my soul to a general store owner if it meant Max would kiss me. All I want is to break through the latent potential of this moment, move to the other side. I want to go fromwantingtohaving,and that need courses through my body like blood.
Then Max clears his throat and steps away, shattering the weight between us.
“Come on,” he says, his voice tight. I catch his side profile in the light as he turns away, flicking off the light. “I should get you home.”
The momentI get back to my cabin, the sound of Max’s tires retreating on the gravel outside, I call Vanessa. When she doesn’t answer, I call my mom.
“Lacey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Shit, Mom, sorry,” I say, breathless and pacing. My mind is still buzzing from what just happened, and I didn’t think it through, calling her. In the background, I hear the faint clinking of glasses and voices murmuring, then the sound like a door closing and muffling it. “I forgot you?—”
“Stop,” she says in that authoritative tone of hers, and I can practically see her waving her hand in front of her face like she does when I’m apologizing too much. “I’ve hardly heard from you since you’ve been gone. And you called because you needed something. I answered. It’s only an agents’ party — only the millionth this year. So, tell me about what you need, dear.”
“Well, I—” I suck in a breath, stop pacing, and stare out the window that faces the road, which Max has already disappeared down. Then, I launch into the story about the furniture. Max making it for me, saying nothing about it. Carefully, I detail going to his place for dinner, dancing around the moment that almost led to a kiss.
“Well?” my mom asks when I’m finished. “Did you sleep with him?”
“Mom!” I laugh, bringing a hand to my forehead, feeling giddy as I tip my head back and start pacing again. “No, I did not.”
“You might as well.” She chuckles on the other end of the line. “I mean, I don’t understand the decision to go out there in the first place, but if you have to spend all that time inMontana, you might as well get a little fun out of it. Speaking of that, when will you get back? I was talking to Amanda — she does San Fran Female Empowerment — and she was hoping you might speak at the next conference. That’s in six weeks.”
Mom goes on, talking about the conference and how much of a benefit to my career it would be to speak. How it could help show Gaia that I’m deserving of the promotion. As she talks, my heart sinks further and further in my chest.
For some reason, I feel like I’ve cheapened this thing between Max and me. Of course Mom thought it would be a fling, a one-night stand, or just a fun arrangement for me while I’m in Montana.
But it feels like more than that.
Especially after seeing his workshop tonight. Especially after the way he looked at me like that, his eyes scanning over my face, his jaw ticking like he had a decision to make, and he really didn’t want to make it.
I flush again from thinking about it, and bring my hand to my throat, where I feel the rapidbeat, beat, beatof my heart, still fluttering.
“… so, what do you think?” Mom asks, and I’ve been listening just enough to answer her, weighing in on the organization’s efforts. I tell her I’ll think about speaking at the event.
Before I get off the phone, Mom asks again when I think I’ll be coming back.
“I don’t know yet,” I say, which feels like an answer to more than one question.
When I get off the phone with her, I fall into bed, doing my best not to think about Max, not to imagine his hands on me.
Of course, I fail miserably.
CHAPTER 12
MAX
Afew days later, I’m back at Lacey’s place.
The moment my foot hits the bottom step of the front porch, she’s throwing open the door, her face lighting up at the sight of me.
