“No need to be.” Sheriff Stewart smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder. “It happened a long time ago. I know things seem bleak right now, but they will get better.”
Rider hoped that the sheriff was right, but he didn’t see how things would ever get better. He needed some form of closure, or he would never be able to move on. He would worry about that later; at that moment, he had something else that needed to be done.
“Will you help me?” he asked. “To put him in the grave.”
“Of course,” Sheriff Stewart agreed.
The people around them went quiet as they watched Rider walk to where his father’s dead body lay underneath a tarp. Sheriff Stewart followed closely behind him. Together, they removed the tarp, picked up his father’s lifeless body, and gently placed him in the ground. Once that was done, they filled the grave with sand, and then everybody who wanted to took a moment to say something about Rider’s father.
Rider felt so many emotions running through his body as he said his final farewell that he barely recognized all of them. The only thing he knew for certain was that he was incredibly angry.
The burial passed in a blur. Everybody had a story they wanted to tell, and maybe someday, Rider would want to hear them, but it was all too fresh. He switched off his brain and simply concentrated on getting through each moment. By the time it was over, he felt exhausted, despite not really having done anything.
“So, are you finally going to agree to go stay at the Richardsons’?” Sheriff Stewart’s voice cut through the fog clouding Rider’s mind.
He shook his head. “No, this is my home.”
“I know, but you don’t have to be alone right now.”
“I am, though,” Rider replied. “Regardless of where I stay.”
Sheriff Stewart didn’t reply immediately. “We just want to help,” he eventually said, offering a small smile.
“Then help me find my mother and sister.”
Sheriff Stewart shook his head. “We’ve been searching for three days, Rider. We’ve looked everywhere.”
Rider’s stomach contracted as he focused his eyes on the sheriff. “Then look again.”
“I’m sorry, Rider. There isn’t anything else we can do.”
Rider bit back the scream that threatened to escape his mouth.
“Rider,” Sheriff Stewart said. His voice was soft, and he sounded remorseful. “I truly am sorry. I wish there was more I could do.”
Rider didn’t know what to say. All he knew was that he had to get away, so he turned around and walked toward his house. Once there, he grabbed his bag, which held his lantern, oil, canteen, and matches, and set off into the night. The sun had just started to set, but Rider had no intention of returning home until he had to.
He searched throughout the night, walking through prairies and nearby woodlands. Most of the area had already beensearched. It didn’t matter. The men could have missed something.
Deep down, Rider knew the truth, but he refused to accept it. He wouldn’t give up.
By the time morning came, his body ached, and he was well past being hungry. He felt sick as he walked back home. On his way, he had to stop to throw up behind some shrubs. His stomach was empty, so it was just water. His throat burned, but it didn’t matter. He was simply trying not to have a complete breakdown.
Rider knew he had to eat, but he didn’t have the energy to make a decent meal. His mother had taught him how to cook. She had always said that it was an essential skill and then playfully glared at his father, who was good at a lot of things, but cooking wasn’t one of them.
He settled for some stale bread with beans and coffee. He barely tasted it as he chewed and swallowed. His body was making the necessary motions, but his heart was not in it. He was eating because he had to. He had no appetite.
When he was done, he shuffled to his room and collapsed on his unmade bed. His mind was still spiraling, trying to figure out where to search next when he fell asleep.
When Rider woke, he immediately got up, ready to continue the search. He barely made it to the kitchen before he heard thunder roaring. A moment later, raindrops hit the roof, loudand unforgiving. He walked over to the window and peered outside. The sun was nowhere to be seen. The sky was dark with thick clouds. Rider had thought that he had slept through the day, but now he saw that it was dark, not because it was night, but because of the weather.
He had no idea what time it was, so he checked his pocket watch. It had been a gift from his parents. It was just after two in the afternoon.
Rider desperately wanted to go search for his mother and sister. He had to do something, or he would go insane. Going out in a thunderstorm was not a clever thing to do, though, so he settled on continuing to clean the house. It wasn’t as satisfying as searching for his mother and sister, but it needed to be done.
Eventually, after hours of tirelessly cleaning and repairing as best he could, Rider decided that it was time to eat a proper meal. He was going to need all his strength after all because there was no way he was giving up.
Chapter 11
